A few weeks ago I was approached and asked if I could referee a pool league final. I’ve always thought it would be pretty cool to pretend to be a snooker referee for a day so I said yes.
The game was between Krusty’s Klowns and Nut’s Scratchers (I know, cracking names…) and was a 12 game match (4 singles, 4 doubles and 4 more singles) in a race to 7, and if the match was 6-6 it would be decided by a team game.
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I was a bit nervous before the game. Not because of the task at hand, but because I’ve never been a fan of super serious games considering we aren’t playing for crazy amounts of money. I wasn’t going to half-arse the job, but I knew if the players and/or teams would get too serious then I wouldn’t put up with the bs. Which is fine, but not when you have been asked to be a referee…
Right at the start one of the captains began bombarding me with pointless questions that we already knew the answers to. I stayed professional and answered him calmly, but by the fourth question I knew these were questions that wouldn’t impact the game and he was solely being pedantic, so I looked at him with my best customer service face and said, “I don’t care…” It worked, he left me alone and we could start the game.
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The game itself went pretty well. I’ve watched a lot of pool and snooker in my life and knew not to stand in people’s eyeline, and do your best to not draw attention to yourself or distract others, whilst at the same time being in a good position to check people aren’t fouling and not calling their own fouls.
Then there was my crowning moment; Nut’s had a girl on their team with a ridiculously low cut top. I mean it was distracting at the best of times, let alone when leaning over balls (No, no, you’re better than that…) whilst taking a shot. She was taking one shot close to other object balls and I felt like a right perv keeping a close eye on the table, then finally I was justified when she ever so slightly nudged an object ball on her back swing, and seemingly didn’t notice because she didn’t call a foul on herself.
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I instantly said “foul”, and started gesturing like William Shatner on Family Guy to explain why she had fouled (to her and everyone watching). Krusty’s then got ball in hand and won what turned out to be a pivotal frame, winning 7-3 overall.
So overall it was a pretty fun evening for me, and I’d like to think I did a good job. Of course, it isn’t for me to say but it was a good experience and you never know what it could lead to in the future.
I have always struggled to be able to make money in my life, especially consistently, but I must admit I have done a vast array of interesting jobs over the last decade or so. Now on my list of bizarre job titles I have had over the years I can now add ‘pool referee’ to that ever growing list.
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sirlewisofclarke 