The Four Seasons, Chiang Mai. Say It With Me Like Macho Man Randy Savage: OOOOH YEAH!

No, I’m not a rich bastard who stays at places like The Four Seasons. Long story short I was helping a lady who couldn’t walk very well to the lantern festival in Doi Saket, Thailand, and in return I got a free ticket. I wasn’t that particularly stoked about going, but it was a free ticket to say that I’d been, so why not?

46501053_2218422818192246_6910512034626928640_o.jpg

Turns out it was a lot better than I was anticipating, as this lady was staying at The Four Seasons in Chiang Mai. She wanted to go back to her hotel for a hour or so before going to the festival, so I had 90 minutes to kill. I got told to stay in reception and wait for her, but since I am a disrespectful fucker who can’t follow simple instructions, it wasn’t long before I ventured off and pretended I was one of them. Here are some pictures and shit to prove I’m not lying…

46520372_2218416408192887_5368515618838413312_o.jpg

46501329_2218418298192698_8127539035682897920_o.jpg

So yeah, off I trotted down the steps. I immediately saw a rich Chinese family acting all Kardashiany and felt intimidated, so I strategically headed left, thinking if I’m by myself, then people won’t figure out that I was a simple commoner. I looked through the posh shops then saw a sign that had arrows towards the spa and the tennis courts. I was definitely out of my depth…

46689643_2218413968193131_3002309137791975424_o.jpg

46651910_2218412641526597_511726915023798272_o.jpg

More pictures and terrible acting, then I found the lake. It looked, well… just like any other lake really. I walked past people with my nose up muttering something about caviar and tax havens, then as I got to the lake bit I took a photo of a Japanese couple who actually paid money for this (suckers!) They returned the favour and I smiled, pretending that I deserved this…

46519342_2218413724859822_6095186796415549440_o.jpg

I then spent the rest of the lap around the resort singing the song ‘Jizz in my pants’ whenever I saw something above average.


Walking round the lake and I…

JIZZED…IN MY PANTS!

Saw a waterfall and I…

JIZZED… IN MY PANTS!

46508365_2218414588193069_7067362054138494976_o.jpg

It took me an hour to do all of that, so once I finished walking in an entitled manner around the rice museum (Oh yeah, they had a bloody museum in the resort. Because… you know, it’s a resort and that…) I then sat down at reception and waited for the lady. I saw a rich Asian girl who was about 21 years old sit near me. I thought that this was my moment to marry smart. It was a bonus that she was a winner as well! But alas, I tried to make eye contact with her but she wasn’t having it. Maybe she could smell the lack of money in my clothes? Either way, she disappeared after about ten seconds and I was left sitting there thinking I needed to up my game.

46498202_2218415524859642_1501663400113995776_o.jpg

Maybe I should have acted like a hotshot like the guy on Freddy Got Fingered…

But I didn’t, so I’m not having Wolf Of Wall Street style business meeting in Switzerland, well not yet anyway. We’ll see what happens and if random business ventures take off then maybe I’ll actually get to stay in one of these places. At least I can tick it off the list and say I’ve been there though. That’s a sort of win isn’t it…?

46518926_2218416004859594_6511868120993366016_o.jpg

Thinking Of Building A House In Thailand?

This is a Youtube video from my stepdad’s channel answering any questions you may have in regards to how to have a house built in Thailand.

He also has a Youtube channel if you want to follow. It is basically tips about how to live like a local in Thailand, and travel destinations around southern Thailand to give you an idea what to expect if you ever go there. Link below:

 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpOtv-XizzVXPjmiWD8dfuQ

 

Yee Ping Loi Krathong Festival, Chiang Mai – 22nd November 2018

Normally I’m not a fan of touristy festivals. I much prefer to go to where the locals go and enjoy the moment with them. However this year someone paid for my ticket to go there, so I thought, “Why not?” as it would be interesting to compare the relatively expensive tourist experience with the local experience that I had done for the past five years.

.

20181122_195520.jpg

This year’s festival was in a place called Doi Saket, roughly 20 kilometres north east of the main town. It was deceptively far as Doi Saket starts around 5 kilometres outside of the town, but it wasn’t too long until we got to the entrance.

.

46634925_2221722467862281_184828870996787200_o.jpg

The festival itself was a typical Thai style, and by that I mean it was an outdoor setup with elaborate lighting and a big stage, surrounded by food and souvenir stalls. It was pretty hectic, but after a bit of a kerfuffle we managed to find our seats.

.

46810541_2221720067862521_2917192395042848768_o.jpg

We got to our seats at 7:25 and wolfed down our packed lunch style free meal. I wasn’t complaining; it was free. Then once a few Thai dance shows had finished a lady got on the tannoy and announced that we should open our lanterns to get ready for the mass release.

.

46520684_2221718024529392_960803472813326336_o.jpg

“We will be releasing our lanterns at 8:00!” she declared, causing mass confusion because she’d told everyone to get their lanterns out 30 minutes beforehand. Some people got confused and lit their lanterns up, causing the event staff to bark at them saying they won’t supposed to let them off yet.

.

46674514_2221718441196017_3421595845366120448_o.jpg

More confusion ensued when the lady then bizarrely said to us all, “OK are we ready? OK, ready…READY… NOT YET!!!!” Which of course led to a few more non native English speakers to light theirs up.

.

46739323_2221721271195734_805377226370449408_o.jpg

“OK, IN 15 MINUTES TIME WE WILL BE PLAYING THE INSTRUCTION VIDEO ON HOW TO LIGHT THE LANTERNS!” She announced as more people were lighting their lanterns and releasing them. Eventually she panicked as they were all losing control and she shouted, “OK TEN! NINE…” counting down to try and restore some order.

It worked (Kind of) and everyone let go of their lanterns at once and I must admit it was very tranquil watching hundreds – possibly thousands – of lanterns go up together. The whole idea of the lanterns is to let go of any stress and unnecessary tension you have built up over the year, and to be fair it felt like my troubles were drifting away.

.

46517497_2221720981195763_5821494025567338496_o.jpg

Once the lanterns had long flown into the sky I let one more off and someone was kind enough to take a photo of me as I did so. Then we decided it was time to head on back. There was a hell of a lot of traffic though and we were stuck in the car for 20 minutes before we could move. The tour buses were blocking off the roads and if I were to do this again I’d probably get some food and wait around a while for the buses to move, as we couldn’t go anywhere anyway.

.

46694248_2221722141195647_1483568406543204352_o.jpg

Ultimately, as it was free it was a great experience, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I paid for it though. Granted watching the lanterns all go up at the same time was magical, and it was cool to say I’ve done it at the actual festival. But I heard some people paid hundreds of dollars for this, where you can go to the two main bridges in Chiang Mai and experience the same energy for free. Either way you will still have a great time in Chiang Mai regardless of which one you do…

.

46632156_2221719054529289_8568338332499574784_o.jpg

Two Reviews In Two Days. I Could Get Used To This…

That’s right, a SECOND five star review for one of my books. On top of that, it was for a different book as it was from the same person. The more exposure the better, so I’m very thankful.

I know it’s a cliche but it’s like buses. I haven’t had a review in ages and all of a sudden two come at once. Hopefully it won’t stop at two and will snowball into the dozens by the end of the year.

10734003_1534967806750100_315344994893087920_n (1).jpg

The impacts of an action – a helpful learning lesson

My students really enjoy Lewis’s books. They are not difficult to read, and have a story line that is captivating with unexpected plot twists. The “Butterfly Killings” shows great examples of psychological torture and paranoia as a lifelong consequence from a terrible action. I highly recommend! Jen

Jen’s previous five star review link: https://steemit.com/reviews/@lewisjfclarke/new-review-for-the-price-of-fame

23916535_2044912212422321_5542611847399845547_o.jpg

If you are interested in purchasing this – or any of my other books – you can always get the Kindle versions on Amazon by clicking on this link:

https://www.amazon.com/Lewis-J-F-Clarke/e/B00MCKBZFK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1535662420&sr=8-1

21458400_10155784963337147_1736976190_o.jpg

Thank you Jen for your reviews, and I hope this leads to more curious people taking an interest in my books, and ultimately enjoying them.

The Butterfly Killings – To get the kindle version click here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PKLWUSO/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1

New Review For ‘The Price Of Fame’

Boo-yah!!!!!!! Found out last night that I got a banging review on Amazon.com for my first book ‘The Price of Fame’. I’ll whack it on for you because I’m nice like that…

.

10541877_1494242970822584_2491819575744580972_o (1).jpg

Had me and my high school students hooked

“The author, Lewis, does a wonderful job showing the negative sides of what it is like inside a child celeb’s mind. My teenage English students particularly loved this because there is this ideal of fame, a godly halo effect. This book helps portray a different perspective and allows the reader to crawl inside one’s shoes in order to understand what a young celebrity may go through on a day-to-day basis dealing with relationships and societal pressures. I would highly recommend this read for high-school or adults. The author writes with feeling and emotion with a story line that is not confusing to follow! Thank you, Lewis, for providing a great read for my students to get lost in!” Jen

.

FIVE BLOODY STARS AS WELL!!! I’m well chuffed about that, and I’m going to spend the rest of the day walking around with a swagger in my step. Let me know if any of you are interested in spending your hard earned cash on this bad boy. Alternatively you can buy the Kindle version for much cheaper through Amazon. I’ll leave a link to my Amazon page at the bottom of this post.

20630010_1586324138079263_1384401218_o (1).jpg
Copies of four of the books at Hostel Valentin in Skopje, Macedonia

.

The Price of Fame:https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00M94ZKZ0/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i5

All books: https://www.amazon.com/Lewis-J-F-Clarke/e/B00MCKBZFK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1535662420&sr=8-1

* If you want to see more reviews, change the .com to .co.uk. I have far more reviews for the books on the .co.uk version

p.s. Oh, and thank you Jen for the cracking review!

Visa renewal, and possibly selling another book.

I’ve just completed the gruelling process of getting a years extension on my visa. To be fair it wasn’t actually that bad as the process is now staggered instead of one long hectic day of stress. This was the last day and it went off without a hitch.

While I was sitting in the office I overheard a guy talk about how long he’d been there for his visa, and I mentioned to him how bad it used to be a few years ago and the fact I’m grateful it is far more simple nowadays.

.

21458400_10155784963337147_1736976190_o.jpg

We got chatting and he told me he was from Bristol, then after a generic conversation he told me he wanted to get back to his Kindle as the book was just getting interesting.

“What are you reading?” I politely asked.

“Oh, some book about aliens…” He replied.

.

12362884_1698155980431281_6591752271978754760_o.jpg

I then told him that I was an author, and that it would be my dream to one day have that same conversation with someone who happens to mention that they are reading one of my books. He then showed an interest and said that he’d have to check out my books to see if they were any good.

My visa was pretty much much done after that, so once I’d collected my passport I wrote down my author name and a list of my books and gave the piece of paper to him. You never know, it could lead to a sale, or even a review. If this leads to more people enjoying my books then that will make me feel really good.

20 Possible Surprise Entrants For The 2019 Men’s And Women’s Royal Rumble Matches

The Royal Rumble is so much fun to watch every year. On top of it being a really gripping match with lots of twists, they normally a few surprise and/or joke entrances into the rumble to keep it entertaining and in some cases light hearted. Hopefully this year will be no exception.

Some of the people on this list are more wishful thinking rather than genuine predictions. That being said, I have omitted some predictions that I personally would love to see however it would be highly unlikely that it would happen (CM Punk, Neville, Cody Rhodes, AJ Lee, Kenny Omega and John Morrison to name a few).

So let’s get down to the predictions:

Pete Dunne

Let’s be fair, this guy has proved time and time again that he is more than capable of putting on a world class match with pretty much anyone and he is still only 25. So time is on his side, which means he doesn’t need a full time call up yet, but he definitely deserves it. One possible reward could be a one time call up from NXT to get his name out there to casual fans as the current UK champion, then send him back down until they are ready to send him up to the main roster permanently.

Dean Malenko

OK, one for the attitude era, but he was an excellent wrestler. Arguably the Daniel Bryan of mid 90’s WCW (Without the push). A relatively small guy who could carry a match with any type of wrestler. Granted he is getting on a bit now so it would be a brief appearance, but he does work for WWE as a producer so it is feasible, and it would definitely be an unexpected entrant.

Santino Marella

Speaking of nostalgia pops, what is Santino doing nowadays? He’s been gone long enough to give people something to talk about if he did show up.

Jason Jordan

Is he or isn’t he retired? There are a lot of rumours going around and he has been working backstage. However his neck surgery was nearly a year ago now so he could be ready to go but WWE are keeping it under wraps. He won’t get a huge pop, but if Kurt Angle is entrant number one and eliminates Curt Hawkins before Jason Jordan comes out as number three, that could be interesting to watch.

EC3

Trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble… EC3 hasn’t done much since he last came back so maybe a promotion to the main roster during the rumble could be good for him. I’m a big EC3 fan, but sadly I fear that his fate may be the same as Chris Hero’s (Kassius Ohno) while he is with the company…

Corey Graves

WWE doesn’t like messing around with concussions, and given that Corey Graves retired because of post concussion syndrome makes this prediction unlikely. But at the same time it was a few years ago, and he does seem very alert while on commentary. The key thing here is that he CAN wrestle, so it could be a possibility to have him enter the rumble from commentary, hit a few moves then get bundled out by a heel, teasing some sort of return without having to follow through with it

Bray Wyatt

Where the hell is this guy? WWE champion two years ago, now he’s been off television since Matt Hardy retired. I don’t think he’s injured so they could be holding him back for the rumble and have him in the final three (Or two) teasing a comeback win but giving it to someone more predictable instead

Ricochet

I predicted this last year. He didn’t enter the rumble but he did in fact sign for the WWE. His time in NXT has shown just what he can do including THAT phenomenal flip where he casually landed on his feet. Yes he’s the North American champion, but the rumble is two months away. He could easily lose it by then. Better yet, make him and Pete Dunne entrants one and two. Give them a few minutes to show the world what the two champions are all about down in NXT and get the fans excited for when they do come up to the main roster.

Damien Sandow

OK, I admittedly don’t know what Damien Sandow is up to nowadays, but one thing I have noticed recently is that he looks A LOT like Elias. Wouldn’t it be funny to see these two face off in the Royal Rumble? Sandow is loved by the fans anyway so it would be great for them, and having him face Elias would distract the fans from thinking about how the WWE underutilized him when he was with the company

Scott Steiner

Also a prediction from last year. I was wrong, but Scott did come back into wrestling with Impact. Scott doesn’t need to wrestle, but it could suit both parties for a one night appearance.

Velveteen Dream

This guy can do no wrong at the moment. Ever since his stellar performance with Aleister Black he has kept proving despite his young age that he is already a star in the making. Speaking of which:

Aleister Black

The guy oozes charisma and has already been NXT champion so it is about time he transitioned onto the main roster. There is never a perfect time for someone to come up though; and if he hasn’t been promoted by the time the rumble comes around then what better time to put him in? Plus it’s an extra surprise entrant to tick off the list.

William Regal

He has been out of the ring for a long time now, but he is still highly respected in the company. I reckon he can still hold his own, so giving him a run out would be great to see and from a personal standpoint I’d love to see him tangle with Cesaro.

Evan Bourne

Again, a very unexpected entrant given how long he has been away. I doubt they would sign him to a long term contract as he seems to be happy in the indies right now. But I’d love to see him hit ‘Air Bourne’ in the middle of the rumble. That would be a great nostalgia pop for people that remember him, and a perfect shooting star press for people to see that don’t remember him…

Pentagon Jr

Most likely a bit too soon for this guy as he is having a great time building up his reputation around the world. WWE would also be wary of having a lucha star come into the WWE after what happened with the original Sin Cara. However a rumble appearance could work for them. That being said, even if this does happen I highly doubt it would happen this year. Maybe in a year or two year’s time.

Jeff Jarrett

Almost laughable if I said this two years ago. But McMahon has buried the hatchet with Jarrett and even put him in the hall of fame. We always see a legend in the rumble and although Hulk Hogan appeared at Crown Jewel I can’t see them putting Hogan in the rumble. Jarrett however is another story. He was always a solid wrestler while he was at what was then known as WWF and did pretty well for himself in Mexico and TNA.

 

The women’s rumble is far harder to come up with surprise entrants as quite simply there are far less wrestlers in the women’s division to choose from than the men’s. Despite this, even though there were a lot of legends in last year’s rumble I still feel WWE can come up with a few surprises regarding the 2019 women’s rumble.

Sara Amato

And what better person to have enter the rumble than the lady responsible for it all? When most people mention the women’s revolution a few names come to mind (Paige, Emma, Sasha Banks, AJ, Charlotte…). But the woman who should be getting most of the credit is Sara Amato, one of the head trainers in NXT. I have no doubt that the quality of women’s matches in terms of ring psychology, entertainment and move set is down to Sara training the women and pushing them to the next level. What better way to acknowledge her than to put her in the match that she indirectly helped to be made possible?

JoJo

JoJo is an announcer, but she used to be a wrestler, and not a bad one either considering she was only 19 at the time. She’s employed with the WWE so it would be easy to arrange. This could add a bit of depth to the rumble and surprise a few people that only saw JoJo as an announcer and not someone who can wrestle.

Kacy Catanzaro

Oh yes, the Ninja Warrior signed a contract with WWE last year and has been training ever since. There were signs of real progress when she wrestled in the Mae Young Classic and her gymnastic background and general core strength gives her a very unique offensive style. This style would be perfectly suited to a match like the rumble, and given the fact that she is extremely likeable means I can only see positives from putting in there with seasoned performers.

Tessa Blanchard

Unfortunately as I mentioned with Pentagon Jr, this may be too early for Blanchard to go to the WWE. But there’s no denying she is tearing it up wherever she goes. She is so good at what she does that people forget that she is only 23. She doesn’t need WWE right now, and equally WWE are most likely keeping an eye on her but are letting her hone her skills. Undoubtedly though it is only a matter of time before she comes to the WWE as she already has connections with them (She was previously a rose bud with Adam Rose, and her father Tully was a WWF tag team champion in the late eighties) so it’s not impossible to think a rumble appearance could happen sooner rather than later.

21458400_10155784963337147_1736976190_o