My third book is out. That’s sounds pretty cool when i say it out loud…

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Have you ever wanted to do something, but because it seems so far-fetched and near impossible you just gave up and accepted your place in life?

Owen Davis always wanted to be a comedian ever since he was a little boy, he loved the feeling of making people feel good and seeing people laugh. However he didn’t even attempt to achieve his dream because he thought it was a ridiculous thing to wish for. Things like that never happened to normal people like Owen….

That is until he met Lena.

Lena wanted to be a footballer, but she was also scared to fulfill her ambitions. One day she said to him that if he chased his dreams, she would chase hers.

This is one ordinary man’s story on his quest to be somebody. “It’s time to stop playing safe, this is my moment, and I’ve got to take it.” He thought. But will he reach the heights he has always dreamed of? Or will he fall by the wayside like thousands of other wannabes?

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It has taken a while, but with the help of various people i can finally say that i’m proud to announce my third book is on sale now at Amazon. Click here to buy it now. This is technically the fourth book i have written (i never released my second one, since i think it is far from finished and needs a lot of re-writing. I will go back to it one day) and hopefully you will see my writing progress in the process.

Thank you to everyone who supported me and made this book possible. I couldn’t have done this on my own and i’m thankful for everyone who contributed, whether it was directly or indirectly.

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If you like to read the first few pages of this book for free, click here

Trip to Lamphun

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Last week i had three days off. I looked forward to spending this time recuperating since it is not uncommon for me to work all day every day, then spend my evenings editing or writing some more of my book.

However by the time Thursday came around (the second day) i realised i had lost sight on why i had come to Asia in the first place; it wasn’t to work myself into the ground and look at the mere pennies i had earned in the process, it was to travel and explore the world. I kept saying to myself that i didn’t need to travel now since i will do my around the world trip when i am 30, but what if circumstances beyond my control change my fate and i missed out on travelling because i said to myself “Maybe later…”?

So i promised myself that the next day i was going to cycle to Lamphun, the closest town to Chiang Mai, and spend the day there doing tourist things. I had just bought a new bike that actually works as opposed to the wheels not turning properly like my previous bike so i had no excuses on that end.

I woke up at 10 and set off at around 11. In case you don’t know this is the burning season in Northern Thailand, and by that i mean the farmers are burning all the rubbish they have up in the field. The knock on effect of this is there is a nasty smog covering Northern Thailand until the end of March. An hour into my bike ride i realised that cycling through the smoggy weather in 30+ degrees weather wasn’t the smartest idea i had ever had, nonetheless i was over half way through my journey to Lamphun, and felt it was pointless to turn around now…

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another hour and 25 odd kilometres later i arrived at Lamphun. I cycled round looking for something to eat because i was shattered and needed to build up my energy again. I found a tiny noodle shop and freestyled in Thai at the owner and she whipped out some pork noodle soup for me. WIN!

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Then i went to the national museum. I wasn’t allowed to take my phone in with me so i couldn’t take any photos of the exhibits. It wasn’t anything special really; there were some cool ancient weapons there and a few cultural exhibits there. Nothing to write home about, however if anyone asks i’ll lie and say it was amazing because i want to sound cool….

Then it was time to do some temple hopping. I hadn’t played tourist for literally years so it was nice to do what the tourists usually do. I took a few pictures for you to admire because i’m a legend like that…

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Finally it was time for me to head back. It was already 2:30 in the afternoon and i was ready to pass out. The plan was to get a blue truck (a cross between a bus and a taxi. The blue trucks go from Chiang Mai to Lamphun) back from Lamphun since i was extremely tired, but most of the blue trucks were full so i decided to cycle for a little bit and catch one that wasn’t as packed along the way. Unfortunately it didn’t work out how i planned, and i noticed that i had cycled half the journey back without catching an empty blue truck. So i thought to myself that i might as well cycle the rest of the way as well.

I got back into Chiang Mai at roughly half past four. Feeling a sense of achievement as i got back home. It may not seem a big deal to most people, but you would be surprised how easy it is to get stuck in a rut here and forget the reason you came here in the first place. So many people come here and work their arse off (mainly because you don’t earn a lot of money here…) and forget why they chose to leave their home country. Sometimes you need to take a step back and ask yourself, “What am i doing?” before committing to working every day just so you can afford to eat at a nicer restaurant as opposed to eating street food every night. I was happy because i saw the bigger picture; it’s not about me working to feel a sense of importance, it’s about me taking advantage of the fact i am living in a different continent and that i should absorb the culture as much as i can before it’s too late.

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Anyway, in summary, nice trip. I need to do this more often…

But I don’t want to do any writing today…

We’ve all been there; “I’ve had a long day at work, i got a lot of other stuff done today, I simply haven’t had the time, everyone is entitled to an off day, right?”

Yes, everyone IS entitled to a day off, so long as it is only for one day, and you come back ready to do twice as much work the next day. In theory this is a great idea, unfortunately more often than not 1 day becomes 2, 2 becomes 3, and so on…

Lately i have been guilty of this. My reasoning is that i deserve to have a break once in a while. I’m just about to finish having 3 days off of work. I did a bit of editing and roughly about 1000 words of my latest book during this time. Some would consider this a success, but not me…

I consider success being a best selling author. Someone who can make a living off of writing. Maybe one day notice someone reading my book in a public place or talk about ‘a great book they are reading at the moment’, unaware that i wrote the thing.

I’m sure a lot of you are thinking of the same word; delusional. This guy got a D in English and didn’t even go to college, let alone a university, the mere fact that this guy thinks he can waltz into the writing scene and take it by storm is hysterical. Sit down loser, and go back to your day job…

This way of thinking, which i have dealt with all my life if i’m honest, spurs me on to write that bestseller even more. I’m very much like a child in this sense; i hate losing, and i see life as a game, a game that is there to be won. But i have to start right at the back of the grid. This means i have to work twice as hard before anyone even recognizes me as a writer, and that’s just the first rung of a very tall ladder.

Fast forward to today; i have written 5 books, published 2 of them. I’m about a quarter of the way through my sixth book and hope to publish my third book by the end of next week. Not too bad for someone who doesn’t have a creative writing degree. However if i want to be known as an author rather than someone going through a phase i can’t stop now. I need to continuously churn out high quality literature for years, maybe even decades before i get a genuine fan base.

Which brings me to this blog post. Yes, i don’t want to do it today. i’d rather watch a whole season of Family Guy. But when i feel this way i simply listen to this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4NMmSA4fW4  

Listen intently to Eminem’s verse. This to me is the definition of winning. We all face that dilemma of wondering if we are good enough or if we are wasting our time and should play safe. Playing safe or bursting through that wall of self doubt may be the difference between fulfilling your potential and working at the same job you worked at 10 years ago wondering why it didn’t fall on your lap (and yes, i deliberately used those words…)

So this is my crossroads; do i keep writing and editing even though i don’t want to, or shall i say to myself “Just this once, you’ve earned it buddy!” And watch TV until i fall asleep. Well this is what i have to say to myself; “You ain’t earned shit yet! You can relax when you are having a conversation with someone who says that they were entertained by your books or made them see things from a different perspective.”

I guess I’ve got to get back to editing and writing. I’m going to be up until about 2 in the morning, but it’s either that or come up with flimsy excuses.

My third book is nearly out

Yep, my editor sent me the file back and gave me a few tips as to what she would tweak (which was nice because i wasn’t expecting that. It’s also hard to find people that aren’t just going to tell you what you want to hear) and i have spent the last few nights doing my final edits, including adding chapters and a disclaimer.

A disclaimer?

Well you need to cover your bombom in case some powerful corporation decides they are bored on a Friday afternoon and think that the day will be much more interesting if they browse through obscure E-books and then find something sueable (is that a word? It should be a word…) Basically i write generic disclaimers in all my books so you would think i would copy and paste the previous one, but this time there is a picture in it that i got off of Google and i had to make sure it was labelled for commercial use before i stole it and put it in my book. So i had to add a little extra for that. Plus my boss sent me a fancily worded disclaimer that i can use which makes it look a lot more legit.

And when is this one out?

I’m going to have to smile at you until you change the question because i can’t give you a definite time frame. As always there are issues that i have to iron out. Nothing major, but frustrating nonetheless. I am ever so slowly edging towards the finishing line though. So go me!!!!

How is teaching?

A lot better than it was a year ago. I realised that i was doing too much. Of course, i knew i was overdoing it but i was simply too stubborn to admit it. Working a full time job, blogging AND writing a book burnt me out big time and i had to drop one of them. Unfortunately i can’t drop teaching completely because of not only the need to put food in my belly, but as i’m currently living in Asia i need to think about visa problems that may occur if i drop everything work related here. As a result i’m still working as a teacher but far less than i was. it’s nice being part time. My room is a lot cleaner and i have time to work out now in between writing sessions and leisure time (No ladies, the queue is over there!)

Win! So do you have any teaching stories?

Last Thursday i walked into my class to see some of my enthusiastic students asleep on the desk. “Great!” I thought, “This is going to be a long couple of hours…” Fifteen minutes into the lesson this tall, skinny kid walked into my lesson with a beanie hat on, trying not to acknowledge me as he sat down. His Eminem impression was spot on so naturally i stopped what i was doing and sang, “His palms are sweaty. Knees weak, arms are heavy…” He didn’t get the reference, but it was for my entertainment, not his. And i proceeded to sing the whole verse to myself before continuing to show the students how to write an academic essay on the board once i was done. Bless them, they all looked oblivious to what had just happened!

Poor kids!

Well, i say kids, they are roughly the same age as me. And i have had a lot of fun with this class. For example i was teaching them how to tell the time and i wrote as a title: Telling the time and shit, that’s so cool…. One of the teachers i work with saw what i wrote and said, “You’re such a cool teacher, you swear in the class and everything!”

That’s not all i do…

On Saturday (same class) I was playing hangman with them and they couldn’t figure out the word and lost. Quickly improvising i said without thinking, “Don’t worry, he’s a man so you have 1 more go!” They got it wrong again so i drew a pencil dick on the little fella, then i said he has fingers as well so keep guessing. Once they got it right i drew a smiley face on him and gave him a massive erection. Then i remembered where i was and said “I’m going to erase this off the board before someone sees this and i get the sack…”

Anything else?

Yeah Cailee (The girl i talked about last week) invited me to go to a show where her little girl was performing at her nursery. We were there for about 17 seconds before a group of Thai people cornered the three of us sensing a photo opportunity of ‘a loving western white family’. None of us had the heart to tell them that we weren’t together so we posed awkwardly pretending to be a family. Then Ellie (Cailee’s little girl) went off and played on the climbing frame and the train. Me being the mature human being that i am also got the train and it started to swing furiously. I looked behind to see this Thai kid about 5 years old pushing the train – since it operated like a swing –  with all his might. The only problem with this was i couldn’t get off, and i had to duck so the metal frame at the top didn’t knock me out and every time the train swung back because of the uncomfortable position i was in i kept banging the small of my back on the metal bar behind me. However i braved it because of the legend status i have acquired over the years and continued on with my day. Overall it was a good day, and it was nice to see Ellie smile so much because she is a naturally shy little girl and won’t interact with a lot of us at the apartment block. So to see her get lost in the moment and enjoy playing with all the other kids made me smile as well.

So ‘Catmosphere’ is a thing…

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A couple of weeks ago i told a friend of mine that there was a cafe in Chiang Mai called ‘Catmosphere’. It’s exactly what you think it would be; a cafe with cats running around causing havoc but being really cute in the process. She said she really wanted to go so we got a red truck (which is kind of a cross between a bus and a taxi) to Catmosphere for a light lunch.

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I got a spaghetti carbonara and Cailee (the lovely lady that accompanied me) got a raspberry cheesecake. They were both orgasmic! Cailee offered me some of her cheesecake and i politely declined a couple of times as they are the rules set by the King of our land many moons ago. Our forefathers were always taught to say no at least twice, but when she offered it to me a third time the law did not apply anymore and i devoured a small piece of it. If i had known her longer i probably would have taken a controlling share of the cake, but seeing as i had only known her for a few weeks at this point i stuck to my English roots and took a tiny piece, pretending that it was more than enough whilst staring jealously at the rest of her cake…

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Then this little legend waddled over to me and lied down as to say “I run this gaff, and i’m going to lie here like a slut to prove it…” Notice the cat in the background in the bottom right picture (or the fourth picture if you reading this on your phone…) looking at the Kate Winslet wannabe disapprovingly as if to say, “If i was in charge there would be some changes around here, that’s for sure…” He kept that pose for about 5 minutes until he got distracted by ‘King things’ and strutted his stuff somewhere else.

So all in all it was pretty cool. A very unique idea that will hopefully take off in the near future. Especially in countries such as these where there are lots of stray animals (more specifically on the islands) it could be a way to give some of them a nice, loving home where people who have a soft spot for cats can come and spoil them rotten. The only shame about this was that it was so small. More often than not it is full and you have to wait for a while before you can come in. But other than that i give it 2 thumbs up.

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