“It annoys me that killers go to prison, get out, get given a new identity and carry on with their lives as if nothing has happened……”
What if we don’t…?
My name is Alex Lee, AKA Chris Ullathorne, and this is my diary. I killed a girl when i was just a teenager. I quite rightly went to prison for it and did my time. So surely life will be a cake walk for me now and i can have a whole new life where no-one suspects who i am right?
I can’t even go to the shops without feeling paranoid. Every time someone looks in my direction i wonder why. Maybe they know who i am, maybe they don’t. Every time i speak to someone i have to remember my strict back story in case i slip up. I know deep down that no one would have any time for me if they knew who i was, yet i have to keep producing this lifeless sham of a performance on a daily basis, i suppose this is my punishment.
First few diary extracts:
Great birthday! Went for a pizza with my mum and step-dad and it was really good. I thought turning 13 would be stressful, becoming a teenager and all that. But it’s just the same as any other day. I don’t feel any older. My mum got me a football for my birthday so I’m well happy! I’ve loved football ever since I was young and I’ve always wanted to be a professional footballer and me and my mates play football all day every day. I don’t want to brag but I think I’m the best. I have more strength and skill than anyone else. Gary is faster than me but he can’t control the ball very well. Somehow he got a trial at Leyton Orient. He didn’t get in though obviously because he’s not good enough. Anyway, I’m babbling. I write in here again tomorrow. Can’t wait to have a kick around!
Sorry I haven’t written in here for a while, I’ve been a bit busy. Mr. Maddox (My science teacher) kicked me out of class today for disrupting the class. It wasn’t my fault! Paul kept nudging me and trying to talk to me and I got punished and he didn’t. I wanted to punch him in the face the little prick! I missed out on half of lunch time but I still got to play the last 10 minutes of the game. Gary played an amazing ball to me and I spanked it in the bottom corner. I’m harsh towards Gary sometimes but he’s a nice guy and does play some good football. (Well, sometimes, I’m still way better than him!)
There’s a girl in my class called Lucy, she’s really nice to me. When I transferred to this school last year most people didn’t want to know me but she was always nice to me. I did fancy her when I first met her but I thought to myself “Urgh! She’s a girl; my mates would laugh at me!” So I played it cool instead. Anyway, she being nice to me again, she gave me her notes for the Science class I got kicked out off and she smiled at me. Does this mean she likes me? I’ve started to notice girls more and more over the last 4 or 5 months. Most of my mates say things like “I wanna bang the fuck out of her!” But I don’t think like that, I just wanna treat Lucy how she should be treated; go to the movies, take her out to dinner, cuddle up on the sofa, you know, make me feel good as opposed to being used.