Steve of the O Driscoll’s (not those bad fellas in Red Dead Redemption 2…) usually arranges pool tournaments at a bar called Renegade. Typically I don’t go for several reasons, but during the semi-final game (https://sirlewisofclarke.wordpress.com/2020/10/12/playoff-semi-final-kangaroo-vs-franco-thai-lets-i-dont-know-lets-pot-em/) Steve mentioned there was a free tournament on the Saturday. I knew I was leaving Chiang Mai the next day so I thought there would be no harm in going to one, especially as it was free.
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Turns out, there were 20 people at this tournament. Some I knew, some I didn’t. I wasn’t a fan of mixing with so many people in one room so I said hello to enough people I knew without being rude, then sat away from everyone and made some notes for my latest book.
For some reason burgers were half price too, so I thought it would be a world class idea to demolish one whilst waiting to find out who I was playing. I found out I was in a group of five, and the system was for each ‘game’ you would play two frames, and you would win your game by winning 2-0, or tie if it was 1-1.
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| The League Of Lewis |
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| Adam – HC 8 |
| Coke – HC 8 |
| Julius – HC 7 |
| Lewis – HC 4 |
| Charlie – HC3 |
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They also had a fairly complex handicap system which I’ll try not to bore you with the details. Basically, the better you are the higher your handicap is, and players with lower handicaps can take balls of the table. There is more to it than that, but I can’t be bothered to explain all the specific rules and I’m sure you’d rather read about what random shots I pulled off this time. So let’s get to it:
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My first game was against Charlie, the only guy in my group who I’d met before. Charlie has bought some of my books, so by default he is automatically an absolute fucking winner. He also has a lower handicap than me, so he got to take a ball off the table whenever he wanted for each game.
Turns out, he didn’t need to. If anything I needed the handicap instead of him. He wiped the floor with me and it wasn’t even close. “Cheers Charlie!” I said as I went back to my bacon cheeseburger and tried to get my mouth around it (I failed, and it was only 145 baht as well. Can’t give it a better stamp of approval than that!)
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Before my second game I bumped in a mate of mine called Jamie, who I used to play snooker with many moons ago and I haven’t seen in literally years. We shared awkward hellos and marvelled about the burgers, then I got called up for my second game, against a Thai guy. Already I feared the worst…
This geezer had a handicap of eight. In other words, he ain’t Efren, but he’s going to clear up off the break more often than not. I on the other hand couldn’t pot a ball, so it was written in the stars that I was going to smash him like Watford V Liverpool…
I missed a few shots, then he played some amazing ones. I was clapping in awe at points (which is one good thing about playing people who are that good.) and he left the black over the pocket.
“Go on Lewis!” I heard Glyn, the Hertfordshire hero shout. I didn’t fancy my chances, but I thought there was no harm in trying.
In the end, the balls kept flying in, and I played a brilliant shot (more by luck than judgement…) to get on the black. I potted it, then I heard someone say to me, “Why didn’t you take any of your balls off the table?”
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“Oh schizzles, I completely forgot about that!” I laughed. The Thai guy wasn’t amused, and I didn’t even get a shot in the next game. Not that I minded; I was more than entertained watching him skillfully work his way through the table.
Game 3 was with another guy who was miles better than me. I’d quickly read his name on the spreadsheet and thought I’d be friendly and introduce myself to him.
“Hi Julian, I’m Lewis” I said with a smile as I shook his hand.
“Julius…” He replied, not sounding particularly impressed.
“Oh shitflaps, that’s not a good start…” I thought to myself.
The game went pretty well. Neither of us took it too seriously and both liked to play quickly. I also did a one handed stab shot at one point which was fun. This handicap system was beginning to benefit me and I nearly won both games. However I missed an easy black, and Julian – also known to the rest of the world as Julius – easily smashed the rest of the balls in.
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I was getting tired by now, so I couldn’t imagine how exhausted Steve must have felt organising it. I secretly hoped that I would be out of the tournament soon, and my prayers were answered when I was paired with this rock star looking guy who had already won the group. He seemed friendly enough, and his handicap suggested I would get to watch some great play, smile, then head home.
Life doesn’t always work that way though; and with Craig David on the speakers I was singing to myself as I potted balls for fun. When I did miss, I got incredibly lucky, then I Michael Duble’d the black and won the first game with ease.
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“This is where I’m going to get destroyed…” I smiled as Adam went to break for the second game. I got a shot, and continued to pot with no fear knowing this would be the last time I came to the table either way.
With the 2 ball handicap system, I was suddenly on the black, but played a poor positional shot and was on nothing. I spent 30 seconds figuring out what I could do, then thought I might as well put my two balls in the pocket before I try a stupidly difficult shot…
Turns out, the two balls I’d picked up were the ones blocking the black and I literally had a straight shot into the pocket. It hadn’t even crossed my mind, and I’m sure Adam wouldn’t have been too happy with me fluking my way through the game. Ultimately it didn’t matter either way though so I’m sure he wasn’t too fussed about it.
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THE LEAGUE OF LEWIS
| Name | W | D | L | Record | Pts |
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| Adam – HC 8 | 2 | 1 | 1 | W-W-D-L | 5 |
| Charlie – HC 3 | 2 | 1 | 1 | L-W-W-D | 5 |
| Coke – HC 8 | 1 | 3 | 0 | W-D-D-D | 5 |
| Lewis – HC 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | L-D-D-W | 4 |
| Julius – HC 7 | 0 | 1 | 3 | L-L-D-L | 1 |
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One of the guys who qualified wasn’t feeling well and went home, so by default I had a chance to qualify as a lucky loser in a three ball shootout. I missed all three shots, and I’m not going to lie I was pretty relieved…
So my first venture into the pool tournament was a long one (as you can probably tell by the post. Well done for getting this far by the way) but overall it was pretty fun. The group of players in Chiang Mai are really friendly and the standard is very high, so that ticks two boxes for me.
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It’s a shame that I’m most likely going to leave now I’ve found this outlet for me, but they’ll be there whenever I come back from time to time, so it gives me another reason to keep visiting if I do end up moving down to Phang Nga.
sirlewisofclarke 