Vegan Pizza With, Erm… Well, Vegans…

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I don’t have a bike at the moment, but luckily for me one of my friends let me borrow his bike while he went to Phuket for a couple of months. So when he came back I said that I’d give his bike a good clean, and take him and his family out for dinner as well. I haven’t cleaned the bike yet because I’m a lazy sumbitch, but I did keep my word on the ‘taking them out for dinner’ dealio…

Keni, Jamie, Kai… Legend, Female legend, Little legend… Now you know the family lets get on with this blog…

We went to a pizza place called ‘By Hand’. And Keni had told me before that they did eyesrollbackinyourheadchantingrussianwords pizzas. Keni, Jamie and spawn of Keni and Jamie are vegans, and this restaurant does vegan pizzas. So yeah, well, you read the title…

I thought I’d join in on the old veganness and order a vegan pizza as well. I thought it would be quite rude softly eating processed meat and making orgasm sounds within arms reach of them, so I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about, ordering the ‘vegan veggie’ pizza. Nothing says ‘Let me tell you why I’m better than you’ than ordering a pizza with a name like ‘vegan veggie’…

Alternating between having a three way conversation about wherever the conversation took us and staring lovingly at Kai, eventually our pizzas arrived. They smelled good. Preliminary test passed with distinction! Now it was time to eat this bad boy and then start telling people how much healthier I felt after seven bites.

Seven bites happened, and yeah, I actually felt healthier as funny as that sounds! Of course the pizza wasn’t as good as a stuffed crust meat feast back in England, but it was still good. Food demolished, now it was time to stare at Kai until he either smiled or cried…

Kai still hasn’t figured me out yet. He’s like the geezer on the film Gladiator not sure whether to give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down. He kind of jumps between almost smiling and nearly bursting into tears. So when he started fidgeting I decided to go for it and ask Jamie if I could take him for a walk up and down the restaurant. “By all means!” Was the reply.

I have experience with kids now as I have 2 nephews, so I bounced with him a little bit and sung to him. It didn’t take long before he was mesmerised. Flawless Victory!

Then Jeff rocked up. He looks like Jeff Bridges from the film Dumb and Dumber so I’m torn between calling him ‘…my name is Jeff!’ and Jeff Bridges. Anyway, he rocked up and joined us. I had to slyly sneak off and pay for our three dinners otherwise the bill would have come and there would have been a very awkward conversation where I’d have to tell Jeff that I was paying for everyone’s food except his…

Next stop: Vegan Heaven. This place does vegan brownies and vegan ice cream, so off we popped, and the brownie never stood a fucking chance. Keni noticed that I was eating the brownie like a five year old child and began filming me for his blog. (He’s putting a video blog up about this in a couple of hours, so when he does I’ll leave a link for it on here. Until then this link is for his Youtube channel where you can browse through and see if any videos he does tickles your fancy…) I kind of panicked because I’m not very comfortable on camera (I’d make a shit pornstar!) but I managed to not say anything embarrassing even though I had brownie all over my face…

And that was it. I will clean the bike one day. Honest! Here’s some more pictures to stare at and shit…

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