Songkran 2017!!!

Songkran is essentially a 3 day water fight, which is kinda handy as it’s usually unbearably hot around this time of year.

So now I’m back in Thailand it’s time to enjoy Thai festivals, one bucket of water at a time…

Even though it is really fun, these few days can be a bit of a pain. Especially if you have no cooking facilities at home and you eat out most of the time. The majority of restaurants are shut. Not only this, but are normally replaced with people setting up camp almost like Command And Conquer trying to waterboard you into submission. This also means that not only can you not bring your phone out with you for obvious reasons, but if you don’t want your credit cards and paper money being destroyed as well it’s probably best to leave it a home.

Also my key card to get into my apartment block has been replaced with an electronic keyring, so now I’m only armed with my charismatic charm and obscure references. Oh, and a few coins I’ve collected over time. At least I can get those bad boys wet…

Walking around the first corner I see a few Thai people with sadistic smiles on their faces holding buckets of water. “Here we go, let’s soak that foreigner until he cries, then we can film it and make money off of it!” I can imagine them thinking. Not to be deterred I get down into a 100 metres starting position ready to run the obstacle course of 6 continuous Thai people ready to throw ice cold water at me until I scream like a sissy.

“SAM…SONG…NUHNG…” I shout (Which is Thai for ‘3, 2, 1…’) Then begin to sprint. I say sprint, I’m in my thirties now, so it was more of a leisurely jog. You know, like when you go to the gym for 10 minutes and declare that you are infinitely fitter and almost pissed off that you don’t have a six pack yet…

And yeah, I got soaked, by everyone except this seven year old girl on the end who threw the bucket of water and completely missed me. I looked back and she looked genuinely upset, slowly trundling back toward the inflatable pool where the rest of the water was. So I ran backwards like Bugs Bunny wondering why Yosemite Sam can’t keep up with him, and looked at her as to say, “Go on then, have another go…” She beamed as she filled up her bucket of water and chucked it at me. Good deed done for the day!

On another day I went to get some lunch and as I got to the restaurant a tuk tuk driver pulled up beside me and asked where I was going. “There…” I replied, pointing at the restaurant 5 metres away from me. He smiled and carried on. I should have said to him I’ll give you 5 Baht (about 10p) if you drop me off there…

To be honest I didn’t go out that much during this year’s Songkran. I mean I did, but nowhere near as much as the other years I was here. This could be for a number of reasons, but mainly because:

  1. I’ve done this so many times now that maybe I’m just getting old and bitter, and want to stay in. Especially since I’ve just bought a PS3 so it gives me a reason to stay in and cane the hell out of it.
  2.  It wasn’t that hot this year. It rained on the second and third day as well, and nobody wants to get wet in cold weather. That’s why there’s not many water fights in England.
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Recycled picture from about 3 years ago, because fuck the world but make sure you wear protection…

So Songkran is over for another year. Now it is back to reality, and trying to figure out how to destroy an ant colony that invaded my apartment before I moved in. The place wasn’t that clean when I did move in and the landlady was on holiday in Hong Kong so I couldn’t ask her to clean it, and I assumed the ants were there because the place wasn’t clean. So I cleaned it myself with lots of different cleaning products. Only the ants haven’t gone away. I’ve found out today that there is most likely an ants nest under the tiles and need to destroy it somehow. I hope so. I’ve had over 10 ants run across this laptop and over my body as I’ve written this…

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