A Slight Detour To Panglao Island

Doug did Doug things, so I did me things…

I scoffed a pizza, back of the net! Then I watched some boxing on our posh cable TV that we had in our hotel room (Don’t hate, congratulate…) then I went off in search of Panglao Island.

It wasn’t as difficult as I’m making out; an Aussie mate of mine convinced me to download maps.me on my phone and it’s been an absolute lifesaver in the Philippines. So I acted all tech savvy and shit expanding and retracting my map, then I saw there was a jeepney station nearby that went from Tagbilarian straight to Panglao town, so off I went to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of…erm…Panglao…

Yeah…It wasn’t a jeepney ‘station’, it was more like a couple of jeepneys (old US army trucks that had been converted into mini-buses for mini-people. And I’m not a mini-person…) on the corner of the road with some dodgy looking dudes cramming us into the jeepneys until it was so tight that our eyes were popping out of our sockets like Bugs Bunny looking at Lola.

The Guy asked me where I wanted to go. “Panglao” I said.

75% of being a Filipino gangster: Where in Panglao?

Me: Panglao town.

75% of being a Filipino gangster: Where in Panglao?

Me: Panglao, the city, the general Panglao area.

75% of being a Filipino gangster: <Getting pissed off> Where do you want to go?

Me: <trying not to get angry with the scary man…> Panglao, as in Panglao. Actual Panglao

75% of being a Filipino gangster: Panglao town market?

Me: That’ll do

So we get crammed in this bad boy. Some 18 year old girl is squashed up into my legs. You would think being a gentleman who has a penis that I would enjoy the closeness of a beautiful lady being pushed up against me. It had the makings of being the world’s shittest love story I must admit but my legs were being crushed against each other. All I was getting was fifty shades of blue, as the circulation to my legs was being cut off.

But I saved serious cash on getting a taxi! And 10 kilometres later I had arrived in Panglao for the grand total of 20 pesos! Yay me!!!

Yay me! Turned into ‘fuck this shit’ in the space of 10.7 seconds. I truly was in the middle of nowhere. And because I was in the town there wasn’t much to look at. There were no white beaches anywhere that I could see and I made a quick ‘plan B’ heading to the north west point of the island called Doljo. It looked cool, well, on the map anyway, so off I popped…

I found a mini pier in Panglao and took a few pictures, and also saw an advertisement for ‘ISIS Bungalows’ (I can imagine the owners thinking to themselves “We’ve spent all this money on advertising, so why can’t we seem to get any customers?”) before heading northwards to Doljo.

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I walked, and walked some more, until I saw there was ocean to my left and to my right. I knew I was close to the point of no return. So I took a slight detour to the Doljo beach and basked in glory for a maximum of five minutes.

Back on track! I went to the point of no return and it was eerie. It was cool to see, beautiful in fact, but as I was one of a few people there looking at the reefs and the small beach of sorts looking at Bohol on my right and Cebu island to my left. I soaked in the tranquility as much as I could until I felt it was time to go back.

I took a motorbike back because I’m a lazy Laura. After that I began to feel tired and didn’t really want to do any more walking. Coupled with the fact I didn’t know when the jeepneys stopped running and it was 4:45, I decided to go back to Tagbilarian.

So it wasn’t as amazing as I was expecting but it was still worth seeing… Actually this is a blog and I can say whatever I want. Everything written on the internet is complete fact, right? So yeah, it was the best day of my life! My life is so amazing and I’m loving every minute of it! Can’t wait to come back here and express how great my life is again through weird photos of me in obscure yoga poses… <Fights back tears through disappointed eyes hoping you believe my bullshit…>

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