“Hi, welcome!” Said the friendly girl behind reception as she poured me an orange juice. I assumed she thought I was someone else but accepted the freebie anyway as I have no soul…
We started talking and eventually I asked her if she was Greek (Because her English was impeccable), turns out it was impeccable because she was from New Zealand, so she understood the gist of what I was saying. Once we established we had a common language I spoke at her for a while about my books until she gave me the key to the dorm.
Everyone was passed out, so I thought I’d follow suit and laze around. I grabbed a local dinner that was called soutzoukhaki, all I read was ‘shit and kaki’ and I was worried as hell what was going to come out. It was meatballs, they were average. It cost me 7 euros and I wished that I had a kebab instead…
The next day was Meteora, the next town over which is brilliantly underpopulated with tourism because no one has heard of it. We (me and this Alaskan girl Jaime) went together. How romantic you may think, oh it was, except I was dressed like this:
It was fine, I wasn’t on the pull anyway, if you don’t believe me look at that plastic bag again… We awkwardly chatted for a while until Jaime dropped her water bottle, cracking it all around the top. I was stuck in a loop continuously saying “Oh no!” like Bruce from Family Guy until we got up to the first monastery.
When we got there we were greeted by a friendly face, which turned out to be another girl from the hostel. She’d been dropped off by this random Greek guy who was stalkerishly waiting for her at the bottom of the monastery, so we became a threesome! (Not that kind of threesome. Bloody hell, this is a PG blog. Away with your crude thought processes!!!)
Even if it was going to turn out that way, I ruined the moment by treading in a huge pile of dog shit. If I wasn’t repelling the women with my smooth banter, then dragging my feet like a zombie from Thriller for the next quarter of an hour was going to do the job…
2 monasteries later and enough viewpoints win social media with our cover photos this week, we were cream crackered, and I was looking forward to lying on my bed, recovering and heading north to Thessaloniki the next day.
Enter the Quinn…
Beasty Australian man walks into the room, single handedly raises everyone’s spirits, invites us all out for food, is the life of the party and THEN has the audacity to say that he isn’t feeling as social as he normally is. Thanks fucker! Way to rub it in that your social skills are so much better than mine. You read the part about the dog shit right?
That evening Quinn further establishes himself as Champion of the hostel by pulling out a guitar and being Bieber. I’m not good with music – I love it but I’m not very skilled – so I just sang any song that came into my head while he was playing chords. I went from Taylor Swift’s shake it off to Eminem’s Without me with very similar acoustic chords. I think everyone had fun!
I decided to stay another day now I’d found the cool kids, and the cool kids went back to Meteora whilst I did a day trip around Trikala. I got lost trying to find the clock tower and was ready to shoot a flare into the sky when I heard a dong to the right. I looked over and there was this towering…err…clock tower probably 250 metes away from me.
“I’m guessing that it…”I concluded. I’m such a fucking genius…
That night involved Gyros (Greek kebabs, that are hilariously pronounced ‘Euros’, which confuses the bejeebus out of anyone not in the know) with the cool kids. Then we went back and I wrote some more of my book. Once I was done I came downstairs to find everyone having a party! I had some vino and chilled out with everyone until 1 in the morning. We all said we were going clubbing but we slowly decided against it one by one when we realised we would have to physically step outside into the cold. All but two people remained: Jaime (Audacious Alaskan) and Ollie (Erratic Englishman)
Why was he erratic do you ask? He’s a really cool guy, but would switch to this mental case when he’s had too much to drink.
I left them to it and wished them a good evening, then as I went to turn the key to get into my room something inside me told me to go with them or I’d regret it, so I was soon running down the road after them and walking beside them like before the final fight in Green Street.
It nearly turned out to be Green Street as well; Ollie was buzzing and was dancing well, but throwing a lot of elbows around and pissing off some locals at the same time. I was there for 30 minutes before I said to them both I was going to go home, and I left the two of them to have shots with some Greeks.
Jaime wasn’t sure where she was going the next day and neither was I, so I had a feeling that we would end up going to the bus station together and pick a random city so instead of leaving at 10 in the morning I waited for her to see what she wanted to do. Then she said to me she’s probably going to stay one more day before heading south. I thought to myself that I had no reason to leave and as it was Saturday everyone was talking about doing a drinking game (which never ends badly!) So after contemplating it for a few minutes I decided to stay one more night as long as there was a bed for me. Everyone cheered. (They didn’t but I want to feel cool…)
Same thing: I got some work done and finished at around 9:30 to find the drinking game had started. I joined in and was told the rules by our champion elect (Quinn if you are keeping up, if not I don’t blame you, but I will hold it against you…) and we drunk wine until I got my nipples out. Oh yeah, it was that level of drunk! Ollie chose me as his ‘drinking buddy’ during one of his rounds, so basically when he drank I had to drink as well. Ollie was fucked by this point and didn’t care, so when he lost a lot of the side games I had to drink as well.
Ollie then showed his cultured side by randomly playing Mozart on the piano, then he went outside and swept the same square metre area for twenty minutes. I didn’t mind because it meant I didn’t have to drink as much. Once the big bottles of wine were empty it was time for round 2 out in Trikala, except the whole gang was going!
I boogied, and others were chatting to each other and locals. Then after 10 minutes this big Greek guy came up to me and started talking in Greek. I said I didn’t speak Greek so he shouted in my ear that I ‘had to go outside’.
I didn’t know what I’d done, but I wasn’t about to start arguing. Whatever it was it must have been serious because every time there was a small gap in the packed club I could feel this guy shoving me towards the exit.
I got out and was told I couldn’t come back in. I looked around and saw Quinn, Candice, Sam and Obi Wan there so at least it wasn’t just me. Apparently Ollie had pissed off a load of Greek people. I didn’t see what happened but the bouncer said three people wanted to fight him. I’d never been kicked out of a club before, so that’s something I can add to the list I guess…
Maybe it was a race thing, because we were stopped at the next club and the bouncer said it was full, even though loads of people were walking out. Then as Quinn negotiated our way in the bouncer let in a load of people.
“Because they have jackets…” Was his excuse. He eventually crumbled and let us in. It wasn’t even that good if I’m honest. I loved the company I was with but the episode seemed to put a dampener on the evening and after 10 minutes I called it a night.
So the next day I left Trikala and headed to Thessaloniki. Four days had flown by just like that and I’d made a load of friends I hope to keep in contact with for years. I had a goodbye Gyros with Quinn and Candice and then went on my way.
Thessaloniki, you’d better be good. I left Trikala for you…