We finally smashed up my old laptop!

For those that don’t know the back story to this, long story short I bought a second hand laptop a week before I went travelling so I could write another book whilst seeing the world. However as soon as I began travelling I ended up having nothing but bad luck with the laptop, and eventually my trip. And since then I haven’t really done any writing except for my blog posts, which is probably one of the main reasons I haven’t been feeling myself since I’ve been back.

I’d said to my brother in law once I’d finally bought a new laptop that nothing would please me more than to smash the fucker up! What started off as a joke became more and more serious as the weeks went by, eventually the day came where I said to him “Come on, let’s go and smash this thing up…”

I had it all planned out I thought poetically that the first strike of the laptop should be caused by a snow shovel that I bought the last time I was back in England (long story…) and I offered him the first strike. He refused so I launched the snow shovel at the laptop. Unfortunately I missed the laptop and the snow shovel hit the door behind it, which made my brother in law piss himself…

Not to be deterred I threw it again and this time it connected. Then I picked it up and Bruce Lee kicked it off the chair. The laptop was a sturdy piece of machinery though, it’s a shame it wasn’t that sturdy whilst travelling through The Philippines…

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Then we both took turns throwing it in the air and dropping it on the patio area. It finally broke! It didn’t shatter but at least we knew by now it was definitely beyond repair. The next game I had planned was to take free kicks at it, with the person hitting it the least amount of times having to pay for the next take away that we would have. However the ball was quite soft, so we took turns smashing the laptop with a shovel until we were relatively certain it wouldn’t work if we tried to turn it on…

There’s something very therapeutic and manly about smashing things up that we are not supposed to. I can now put on my CV that I have smashed the fuck out of a laptop, and I definitely feel like the lingering negative energy that laptop had has left my body. Sure, I could have sold the thing, but it felt SO much better to go hammer and tongs on it until it could only be advertised as ‘OK condition’ on Ebay.

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The aftermath was I had to spend 25 minutes carefully cleaning up all the pieces that had been shattered all over the garden, but it was well worth it…

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