I’m back in Chiang Mai!!! I’m also staying at the same place I was at before and I noticed the ping pong table looked like it hadn’t been used in a while so I whined like a four year old until Steve agreed to do one more tournament. We ended up with 4 able challengers.
Originally the plan was to have Team Ingerland Vs. Team Amurrica, with me and Daniel flying the British flag and Steve and Bobby trying to invade us. However a new competitor threw his hat in the ring and childishly bragged he was better than us, so we had to see what he was made of…
1) Name: Lewis
Now representing: Thailand (I was wearing a Chiang Mai F.C. shirt. There are no pictures to back this up, but I wouldn’t lie to you…)
2) Name: Steve
Nickname: Power Hungry Landlord
Now representing: North Korea (Has Korean heritage. Even if he didn’t I’d still make him represent North Korea…)
3) Name: Daniel
Nickname: Omlette Du Fromage (He was born and raised in France. Please; no Fresh Prince references, that would be too easy…)
Now representing: France
4) Name: Bobby
Nickname: Booby (Purely because I typed his name wrong into the computer, looked up and thought “That’ll do for a nickname…”)
Now representing: Amurrica
So who is the fifth competitor you ask? Well, it was none other than Jesus himself…Yep, the real Jesus! He must have heard about the ping pong tournament and wanted in on it. I even got a picture of him to prove it, but I won’t show you yet, you’ll see it later…
We had 5 people, or 4 people and one lord. So although I was under pressure, I decided that we should do a round robin and the top two people (or saviours…) advanced to the grand final, where the losers would eat dry roasted peanuts and cheer the winners on until one them dropped dead, rendering them only useful for parts.
Same as before; one set each, first to eleven, three sets in the final, blah blah blah… You know the score by now…
Let the games begin…
I kicked off against Omlette Du Fromage…Literally. I squared up to him and said that he ain’t got nothing on me! He responded by keeping calm and embarrassing me on the table. I then cried and hid in the coffee shop. Apparently Power Hungry Landlord played him straight after and didn’t fare too well against him either. Stupid game…
So we had established a favourite, unless Senor Christ could bring home the bacon. Turns out Jesus was a Vegan and said he didn’t want to play, but rather give us all a bye so we felt better about ourselves.
So Jesus tucked in to a vegan burger whilst Booby was ready to kick some ass. Sadly for him it was a swing and a miss, as we were all angry we’d lost to Omelette Du Fromage and took it out on Booby.
This meant it was a straight shootout between me and Power Hungry Landlord to see who was going to join Dexter, I mean Omelette Du Fromage, in the Final. The Power Hungry Landlord slouched his shoulders saying that he couldn’t be bothered anymore. I however could be bothered, and by default I crept into the Final against my original Ingerland teammate, who had since defected to France.
(FRA) Omelette Du Fromage 11 – 8 McRecedinghairline (THA)
(FRA) Omelette Du Fromage 11 – 8 Power Hungry Landlord (PRK)
(THA) McRecedinghairline 11- 3 Booby (USA)
(PRK) Power Hungry Landlord 11 – 8 Booby (USA)
(FRA) Omelette Du Fromage 11 – 7 Booby (USA)
(PRK) Power Hungry Landlord 6 -11 McRecedinghairline (THA)
(FRA) Omelette Du Fromage w/o Jesus (ISR)
(PRK) Power Hungry Landlord w/o Jesus (ISR)
(THA) McRecedinghairline w/o Jesus (ISR)
(USA) Booby w/o Jesus (ISR)
Name PD PTS
Omelette Du Fromage (FRA) +10 8
McRecedinghairline (THA) +10 6
Power Hungry Landlord (PRK) -5 4
Booby (USA) -15 2
Jesus (ISR) n/a 0
Come on wrap it up; X-Factor starts soon…
Right; the final! McRecedinghairline Vs. Omelette Du Fromage. We sang our own versions of the national anthems and got cracking. My experience shone through first of all and I took the first set. Then I began to run away with the second set. I was 9-4 up at one point. I think my drink got spiked or something because the next thing I knew it was 10 all. Then Omelette Du Fromage pulled that classic ‘What’s that over there…?’ trick. I fell for it and he took the next two points.
The final set was much more dramatic. I’m not going to say why but let’s all pretend I wrote something compelling up to this point.
Wow…That’s so compelling!!!!
I know, right? So of course the score became eleven all. We both had a couple of match points, but in the end France prevailed again just like they did in the last tournament by taking the last set 16-14. I swear I’ve had some epic battles with the French…
(FRA) Omelette Du Fromage 11-13 12-10 16-14 McRecedinghairline (THA)
HA HA! You didn’t win AND in a few years you’re gonna lose your hair!!!
I’ll win the next one, don’t worry. I’ll get back to Forrest Gumping the ping pong table until I’m ready for revenge. In case you were wondering what Omelette Du Fromage won, I found an unopened pack of mentos in my room so…err….congratulations mate!
Actually no, I’m still waiting for proof that Jesus was there at the ping pong tournament…
Oh yeah, here it is, he even brought the ray of light with him:
Um…That’s not Jesus. I’m pretty sure that’s Booby in a poorly lit photo…
You would think so, but I put it to you……. LA LA LA!! I’M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA! IF I CAN’T HEAR YOU IT’S NOT REALLY HAPPENING!!! LA LA LA! IGNORE THE SITUATION UNTIL IT GOES AWAY…..