Le Tournoi De Ping Pong: Songkran Special!

Quick introduction; i expected 3 people to turn up, ended up with 15! Normally in Thailand people say that they are going to come but they come up with flimsy excuses either on the day or the next time you see them. So when most people turned up, some with friends of theirs as well, i was impressed and slightly overwhelmed by the daunting prospect of having to organize a larger tournament than usual. 20150415_163647 One of the teachers i worked with, David, drew the groups:

Group A: Sasha (RUS) Jason (GHA) Mike (CAN) Marcin (POL)

Group B: Preaw (THA) Lewis (ENG or ‘Watford’) Rita (CAN) Liz (GHA)

Group C: Scott (GHA) Sam (USA) David (USA)

Group D: Diana (KAZ) Niels (NED) Harrison (FRA) Marina (THA)

Note 1: If i wasn’t 100% sure which country they came from, by default they had to represent Ghana (GHA)

Note 2: Harrison is actually Amurrican, but i like saying his name in a mock French accent…

You may be wondering why Group C has three people when it would make sense for Group D to have three people instead. This is because the groups were constantly changing with people turning up two hours late, not showing up or chickening out at the last minute. This lead to a lot of shuffling of the metaphorical deck. In fact Group B was originally supposed to have Eduardo, last months runner up, in it. This would have been a cool feature to have a repeat of last month’s final in the group stages, however Eduardo quietly disappeared after twenty minutes and no-one could account for him, so his place was taken by one member of the Canadian Couple (not to be confused with the Canadian Club, which is a Whisky…)

Results: 20150415_163633

Group A

(RUS) Sasha 5 -11 Jason (GHA)

(POL) Marcin 11 – 5 Mike (CAN)

(RUS) Sasha 2 – 11 Marcin (POL)

(GHA) Jason 6 – 11 Mike (CAN)

(RUS) Sasha 11 – 9 Mike (CAN)

(POL) Marcin 11 – 6 Jason (GHA)

Group B

(THA) Preaw 1 – 11 Lewis (ENG)

(CAN) Rita 11 – 6 Liz (GHA)

(THA) Preaw 11 – 9 Rita (CAN)

(ENG) Lewis 11 – 3 Liz (GHA)

(THA) Preaw 4 – 11 Liz (GHA)

(ENG) Lewis 11 – 2 Rita (CAN)

Group C

(GHA) Scott 11 – 3 Sam (USA)

(GHA) Scott 1 – 11 David (USA)

(USA) Sam 1 – 11 David (USA)

Group D

 (KAZ) Diana 6 – 11 Niels (NED)

(FRA) Harrison 11 – 9 Marina (THA)

 (KAZ) Diana 2 – 11 Harrison (FRA)

(NED) Niels 11 – 3 Marina (THA)

 (KAZ) Diana 3 – 11 Marina (THA)

(FRA) Harrison 11 – 6 Niels (NED)


Name                          PD  PTS

Group A

Marcin (POL)             +21     6

Mike (CAN)                 -3      2

Jason (GHA)               -5      2

Sasha (RUS)             -13      2

Group B

Lewis (ENG)         +27       6

Rita (CAN)              -6       2

Liz (GHA)                -6       2

Preaw (THA)          -15       2

*Note: As Rita and Liz finished with the same points and point difference i chose who was the fittest….Just kidding, we went by who won the game between them. I would have preferred a game of strip poker. That way everyone wins! But both Rita and Liz are in long term relationships so we (and by we, i mean me!) were left wondering what could have been…

Group C

David (USA)           +20      4

Scott (GHA)            -2       2

Sam (USA)           -18       0

Group D

Harrison (FRA)      +16      6

Niels (NED)             +8       4

Marina (THA)           -2       2

Diana (KAZ)            -22      0

* The top two of each group advanced to the quarter finals, whereas the losers had the privilege of staring at my pert bum while i played my quarter final…

Quarter Finals

So now things were getting heated, and not just because the males were frustrated that there was no strip poker going on. There were a few shocks, for example i expected Sasha and Marina not to go out in the group stages. Judging by the way that Marina was playing when she started (which was about two hours after everyone else had arrived…) We expected her to clean house! So we were left with the quarter finalists. Because i am such a massive bellend i ballsed this up because the people in the group stages would have met each other again in the semis instead of the final had they both progressed. Fortunately all the group winners won their quarter final so no one noticed. Shit… I’ve just given the results away. Oh well, ignore that huge spoiler and continue reading. I suppose i might as well just give you the results now….

(POL) Marcin 11-3 11-7 Scott (GHA)

(USA) David 11-7 11-7 Mike (CAN)

(ENG) Lewis 11-4 9-11 11-3 Niels (NED)

(FRA) Harrison 11-5 11-5 Rita (CAN)

Semi Finals:


Which meant we were left with four: A Polish guy who was playing like a beast, an Amurrican who looked the furthest thing from a beast, me and the newly adopted French guy simply because i liked saying ‘Harrison’ in an aggressive French accent. Marcin was the favourite, but David had other ideas (and they were pretty good too! He should go to Dragons Den with them before i steal them…) and polished him off in straight sets. I played an absolute marathon with Harrison, eventually losing to the physical Adonis that the French have temporarily stolen from North America. We embraced afterwards, but unfortunately i let England down in our over 1000 year long feud with France, with the French winning AGAIN!

(USA) David 11-8 11-9 Marcin (POL)

(FRA) Harrison 16-18 11-9 14-12 Lewis (ENG)

(Told you it was a marathon!)

The Final:

That meant we had an All-American final (kind of…) Between the sexy David, and the even sexier Harrison. One of these beauties was about to claim my title, and with it, The Office box set season 1-4 (Which STILL hasn’t been claimed by anybody!) and a tin of mackerel from 7/11. Oh, and just in case you were wondering why there was no third place match, it was because Marcin and Diana swiftly left after Marcin lost. I didn’t mind though, Marcin would have battered me!

I would like to tell you it was a memorable final…so i’m going to lie and say it was! In truth i was exhausted after my long battle with the French, so i drifted in and out of this one. As i’m guessing Harrison did too. With David taking full advantage of the situation, winning in straight sets.

(USA) David 14-12 11-7 Harrison (FRA)

Which means we have crowned a new champion! I hope he defends his title because of his aura of coolness he instantly attracts a minimum of four people wherever he goes, bringing extra people for the next tournament with him.


David holding his tin of mackerel (although you can’t see it) either thanking the gods for his victory or pointing out that the light above is broken and needs replacing…

One thought on “Le Tournoi De Ping Pong: Songkran Special!

  1. Pingback: Ping Pong Tournament: Thanksgiving Special! | sirlewisofclarke

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