My third book is nearly out

Yep, my editor sent me the file back and gave me a few tips as to what she would tweak (which was nice because i wasn’t expecting that. It’s also hard to find people that aren’t just going to tell you what you want to hear) and i have spent the last few nights doing my final edits, including adding chapters and a disclaimer.

A disclaimer?

Well you need to cover your bombom in case some powerful corporation decides they are bored on a Friday afternoon and think that the day will be much more interesting if they browse through obscure E-books and then find something sueable (is that a word? It should be a word…) Basically i write generic disclaimers in all my books so you would think i would copy and paste the previous one, but this time there is a picture in it that i got off of Google and i had to make sure it was labelled for commercial use before i stole it and put it in my book. So i had to add a little extra for that. Plus my boss sent me a fancily worded disclaimer that i can use which makes it look a lot more legit.

And when is this one out?

I’m going to have to smile at you until you change the question because i can’t give you a definite time frame. As always there are issues that i have to iron out. Nothing major, but frustrating nonetheless. I am ever so slowly edging towards the finishing line though. So go me!!!!

How is teaching?

A lot better than it was a year ago. I realised that i was doing too much. Of course, i knew i was overdoing it but i was simply too stubborn to admit it. Working a full time job, blogging AND writing a book burnt me out big time and i had to drop one of them. Unfortunately i can’t drop teaching completely because of not only the need to put food in my belly, but as i’m currently living in Asia i need to think about visa problems that may occur if i drop everything work related here. As a result i’m still working as a teacher but far less than i was. it’s nice being part time. My room is a lot cleaner and i have time to work out now in between writing sessions and leisure time (No ladies, the queue is over there!)

Win! So do you have any teaching stories?

Last Thursday i walked into my class to see some of my enthusiastic students asleep on the desk. “Great!” I thought, “This is going to be a long couple of hours…” Fifteen minutes into the lesson this tall, skinny kid walked into my lesson with a beanie hat on, trying not to acknowledge me as he sat down. His Eminem impression was spot on so naturally i stopped what i was doing and sang, “His palms are sweaty. Knees weak, arms are heavy…” He didn’t get the reference, but it was for my entertainment, not his. And i proceeded to sing the whole verse to myself before continuing to show the students how to write an academic essay on the board once i was done. Bless them, they all looked oblivious to what had just happened!

Poor kids!

Well, i say kids, they are roughly the same age as me. And i have had a lot of fun with this class. For example i was teaching them how to tell the time and i wrote as a title: Telling the time and shit, that’s so cool…. One of the teachers i work with saw what i wrote and said, “You’re such a cool teacher, you swear in the class and everything!”

That’s not all i do…

On Saturday (same class) I was playing hangman with them and they couldn’t figure out the word and lost. Quickly improvising i said without thinking, “Don’t worry, he’s a man so you have 1 more go!” They got it wrong again so i drew a pencil dick on the little fella, then i said he has fingers as well so keep guessing. Once they got it right i drew a smiley face on him and gave him a massive erection. Then i remembered where i was and said “I’m going to erase this off the board before someone sees this and i get the sack…”

Anything else?

Yeah Cailee (The girl i talked about last week) invited me to go to a show where her little girl was performing at her nursery. We were there for about 17 seconds before a group of Thai people cornered the three of us sensing a photo opportunity of ‘a loving western white family’. None of us had the heart to tell them that we weren’t together so we posed awkwardly pretending to be a family. Then Ellie (Cailee’s little girl) went off and played on the climbing frame and the train. Me being the mature human being that i am also got the train and it started to swing furiously. I looked behind to see this Thai kid about 5 years old pushing the train – since it operated like a swing –  with all his might. The only problem with this was i couldn’t get off, and i had to duck so the metal frame at the top didn’t knock me out and every time the train swung back because of the uncomfortable position i was in i kept banging the small of my back on the metal bar behind me. However i braved it because of the legend status i have acquired over the years and continued on with my day. Overall it was a good day, and it was nice to see Ellie smile so much because she is a naturally shy little girl and won’t interact with a lot of us at the apartment block. So to see her get lost in the moment and enjoy playing with all the other kids made me smile as well.

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