The First Ever Sethee Court Monthly Ping Pong Tournament


The Contestants


Name: Dave (pictured)

Nickname: The Warrior

Representing: Canada

Strengths: look at the geezer! He’s clearly in it to win it!

Weaknesses: Those shoes don’t exactly ooze sex appeal…


Name: Lewis

Nickname: The King

Representing: England…More specifically, Watford

Strengths: I’m the King, so if anyone dares to try and beat me i can get them executed just like the old English kings 400 years ago…

Weaknesses: No killer instinct, may be a problem towards the end of the game


Name: Steve

Nickname: The Landlord

Representing: North Korea, defected from USA

Strengths: Has the ability to kick us out of our apartment if we beat him, and fancy spin serves

Weaknesses: His shot choices; When he goes for power, it’s normally too long (that’s what she said)


Name: Patricia

Nickname: The Wildcard

Representing: France

Strengths: Unpredictable, sometimes she’s amazing, sometimes she sucks (that’s what she said)

Weaknesses: See above


Name: Jason

Nickname: The one that didn’t show up

Representing: USA

Strengths: Has Chinese origin, so by law of racism he should be very good

Weaknesses: Impossible to win a tournament if you don’t show up


It was going to be a knockout format with best of 3 sets, first to 11 wins the set (a set must be won by two clear points) Until Patricia entered at the last minute, making it 5 people. So instead we had a simple round robin format, with the winner getting 2 points and point difference separating anyone who has the same number of points. This also meant that there would be only one set each. I thought that this would be a good idea since there would be more of a likelihood of having upsets and in turn making the final table more interesting.


Jason was scheduled to be back later, so we decided that he could play his games when he came back, only he never did until it got dark (and by then everyone had stopped/lost interest). Patricia went to get some lunch so me, Steve and Dave played each other first. Dave, the unofficial 1st seed, stepped up against me, the 2nd seed, for the first match. And what a way to open the tournament. People were looking in marvelling at Dave’s attire, and i was incredibly focused ready to try and defy the odds.

And defy them i did; I annihilated him 11-1. I had never beaten Dave before so this was clearly the biggest upset of all time! Granted it was the first ever match so that didn’t hold much value, but it will still stand out in 10 years time when this tournament is still going strong.

Straight after that i faced Steve and got the same result; It was unbelievable! Everything i was hitting was landing perfectly and i was beating people who were either better than me or at worst the same standard as me. Steve then faced Dave and won after an intense battle.

Then Patricia came back, full of Pad Thai and ready to kill anyone who made a joke about her shower not working properly (Steve fixed it eventually, but the damage had already been done…) She won her last game against Steve but was soundly beaten by Me and Dave. Of course because of Jason’s no show (i’m making out that he blanked us, but he was actually on a trek all day) we all got a walkover.


Steve and Patricia playing one of the most anticipated ties of the year


ENG Lewis ‘The King’ 11 – 1 Dave ‘The Warrior’ CAN

CAN Dave ‘The Warrior’ 12 – 10 Steve ‘The Landlord’ PRK

PRK Steve ‘The Landlord’ 1 – 11 Lewis ‘The King’ ENG

FRA Patricia ‘The Wildcard’ 0 – 11 Lewis ‘The King’ ENG

FRA Patricia ‘The Wildcard’ 2 – 11 Dave ‘The Warrior’ CAN

FRA Patricia ‘The Wildcard’ 12 – 10 Steve ‘The Landlord’ PRK

FRA Patricia ‘The Wildcard’  w/o Jason ‘The One That Didn’t Show Up’ USA

 CAN Dave ‘The Warrior’  w/o Jason ‘The One That Didn’t Show Up’ USA

PRK Steve ‘The Landlord’  w/o Jason ‘The One That Didn’t Show Up’ USA

   ENG Lewis ‘The King’  w/o Jason ‘The One That Didn’t Show Up’ USA

Final Table

Name                                    PD     PTS

Lewis (ENG)                        +31        8

Dave (CAN)                         -3          4

Steve (PRK)                          -6         4

Patricia (FRA)                      -18        4

Jason (USA)                         n/a        0

So what did you win?

The coveted ‘Village Bike’. Luckily for me it is not a herpes ridden woman; it is an actual bike, my old bike actually, that is available for everyone to ride because i can’t be bothered to sell it. So now it will be the trophy for anyone who wins the Sethee Court Ping Pong Tournament! Hopefully this will take off and become a proper thing. We are already generating interest from locals who have been peering in recently while we practice. So I may lose my title soon….

pingpong1   One more picture of the legendary Dave

2 thoughts on “The First Ever Sethee Court Monthly Ping Pong Tournament

    • Ricky seems oblivious to the world (as always!) But it was Suzy you had to watch out for; if the ball went within a 50 centimetre radius of her she would eat it, resulting in a victory for Lewis for no apparent reason…..

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