It’s official, The Butterfly Killings is done!

TBK book cover 1



Yep, published it on Saturday. Thanks to everyone who made it possible. There were times when i wasn’t sure whether i was going to meet the release date or not but everything worked out in the end. I was up until 3 in the morning the last couple of nights doing final edits but now it’s a huge weight off my shoulders. 2 books in a year. Not bad for someone who didn’t have the slightest interest in writing this time last year!

What’s it about? 

It’s the diary of a killer. It documents their slow demise into insanity. Click here if you want to read the blurb. If not, be a poo and ignore me, your karma, not mine!

OK, i choose to ignore you. I bet you are going to shamelessly plug it anyway….

A wise bet my friend, a wise bet… Click here or on the picture to buy this absolute beast of a book on Amazon.

How’s Thailand?

Thailand’s good. No real teaching stories in terms of comedy. I had a student who was terrible at life and i was getting very frustrated with her, simply because she wasn’t trying. I knew the potential to pass her exam was there, but she kept turning up 20 minutes late (Which isn’t uncommon here…) and half arseing everything she did. Eventually i pushed her enough so she snapped. She started spitting out the correct answers to my questions and generally doing  better job than before. Some students need a metaphorical arm around their shoulder and some need a right kick up the arse, she needed the latter.

At the end of the lesson i told her to go in the other room as ‘there was something in there for her’. She walked in to see the brownie that i had left her as a reward for not being shit any more. I also left a note next to the brownie that said:

Much better today. I can see that you clearly have the potential to pass, but you need to study. And i mean really study and not just say that you are going to study. If you continue this standard i think you can easily pass (although you are not ready yet)

I hope that motivates her to get over the finishing line. Her parents said that she has failed this test a couple of times and this is her last chance. She doesn’t realise how great of an opportunity she has and she’s about to piss it up against the wall. (Rich kids, eh?) Hopefully she will take this chance and go on to study abroad and absorb another culture, instead of blaming everyone else but herself for her own shortcomings….

So… No teaching stories then?

No, but i did have a strange conversation with my laundry lady when i went to pick up my washing the other day.

(It was in Thai, so this is the rough translation…)

Double L (laundry lady): Where do you live?

Me: <shocked> Sorry?

Double L: Do you speak Thai?

Me: A little bit

Double L: Where do you live?

Me: Erm… over there, about a five minute walk.

Double L: Do you like Jason Statham?

Me: Er… Yes

Double L: I LOVE Jason Statham!

Me: He’s from London, near where i’m from. (turns out that he’s from Derbyshire, nowhere near London. I found that out through the power of Wikipedia…)

Double L: Yes


Double L: And i like Benny….Bennezie…..

Me: Benecio Del Toro?

Double L: Yes! I also like Jason Statham because of his teeth.

Me: Oh…OK

Double L: Bye! <smiling frantically>

After 3 years of conversations like this, i highly doubt that i will be able to function in the real world. Especially when i go back to England….

So is that it in terms of writing?

No, i’m in the process of writing my 5th one. I’m over 40,000 words in. I reckon i’m about four fifths of the way through. I know roughly how it is going to end now, i just need to physically write it. I reckon i will be done before the end of November. After that i am planning to take a long break from writing. At least until the end of January. Just to recharge and gather my thoughts. Don’t worry i have plenty of books left in me (Let me rephrase that: I still haven’t got the hint yet….) In fact, i’m itching to write another two books already! But honestly i know i am mentally drained, and i need a few months to stop everything and give my brain a rest. I might release another book in the meantime. I haven’t decided yet. It will depend on how bored i am.

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