Mum’s 50th birthday present


We went to the night market on Monday. We saw countless stalls selling the same thing over and over before we got some Pakistani food from a restaurant that i go to about once or twice a month (Pakistani food is delicious by the way if you have never tried it. It’s very similar to Indian food but it has a bit more of a kick to it). After we annihilated our food, we set off on an adventure in no particular direction; or so they thought…

I was casually guiding them to the wood carving shop. Mentioning a few times before that i wanted to go and show them how detailed they were. Eventually they slowly followed me to the shop. Once i was standing in the middle of the shop, i turned around to Mum and said “I lied. Pick one!”

She dismissed it and said they were way too expensive and i shouldn’t be so stupid. You know, Mum answers. However i stood my ground and said “I’m not leaving this shop until you pick one.”

“How about i spend a few days deciding what i want and i’ll come back later?” She countered. “That old chestnut!” I thought to myself.

“I’m not falling for that! Come on, pick one!” I repeated.

She then proceeded to look at the smallest possible ones. I was expecting to spend at least 600 pounds but she wouldn’t even glance at any that were over 200 pounds. She clocked the monkey one straight away, then the one next to it which was a carving of some monkeys in the jungle, it was far more detailed but she said she preferred the “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil” as she called it.

She was also looking at the elephant one. “Sod you, i’ll buy them both!” I thought to myself. “You think you are being clever by picking the cheapest one, well i see your two pair and i raise you a full house!”

So in the end i got them both. The lovely family that ran the shop were incredibly friendly, telling me about their daughter who is studying law at Brighton University at the moment. Also because i spoke Thai they give me a massive discount without me having to barter. So overall i paid around £200 for the two wood carvings, and two small elephants that will stand beside the elephant carving and give it more depth

Just as they were wrapping it i realised that i hadn’t taken any photos of the carvings. They spent a good twenty minutes wrapping them up carefully so i didn’t fancy unwrapping them just to take photos. I asked the guy if i could take photos of similar ones and he was fine with it. So these aren’t the exact carvings that i bought my mum, but there are very similar. A slight difference here and there. In general they are the same


Oh by the way: My latest book ‘The Butterfly Killings’ will be out on November 15th. Just in case you are interested…

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And here’s some pictures of Runt somehow getting herself locked in the apartment building….

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