Apparently in Thailand this is what squids look like….


Yep, I was browsing through one of the terrible books i use to teach MASAKO! and i stumbled across the animal page. This book, although advertised as written by an American, has several major grammatical errors, some where you actually have to explain to a class full of wide eyed children, “This book is completely wrong, so i’m just going to tell you how normal people say it.” I thought that it couldn’t have any errors in the animal section surely? Well no, not any errors, But that squid looks like he is a hit with the ladies…


“I’ve been dating this Japanese girl for 3 months now and it’s going swimmingly!” Said the veiny beast.


Of course i invaded other people’s lesson to show them what i had just found. I least there was one success story that day!

I see, so is that it for teaching stories?

Kind of. Fucktard will be back soon so i’m sure i’ll have a lot of ‘yes’ stories like in one of my previous blogs, but other than that the only students i have are smart, and hot. So yay me!!!!

I did have one moment where one of my students in a group class was trying to get some motivation to speak, so for some unknown reason she was staring at her hand. That’s all i needed; I put my hand in front of my face like the legendary Booker T and shouted “five time….five time……..five time….five time……FIVE TIME WCW CHAMPION!!!!” Just like the legend himself would say. They laughed, completely unaware of the reference. Then when she was about to speak i interrupted her and said “Can you dig it….SUCKA!!!!!!!!!!” 

Oh wrestling, where would i be without you…?

Probably doing something productive, like writing a book or something…

Well i am on my 5th one. The simple concept for this one is that a guy who is ridiculously shy around women decides to talk to a girl for at least 5 minutes every day for a month. I’m on day four at the moment, which it itself is 3000 words. I’m about 8 or 9000 words in, i’m not 100% sure, but i did come up with the ending last night while i was trying to get to sleep. It rounded the story up nicely too. Now i just need to write it out and make at least 40000 words out of it, with plot twists and additional characters, which is easy once you get into it.

So you are finished already?

Not at all! it needs to fit together and if it doesn’t, the story may change. The story is always subject to change as long as it benefits the book. However it is nice to have a spine that i can expand from, rather than when i was writing my 3rd book i remember i was three quarters of the way in and i had no idea how it was going to end, although it did kind of come together well in the end.

Anything else?

Yeah Suzy got sick. We don’t know exactly what is wrong with her but she has been at the vets for the last few days. Which means i have been playing substitute mummy to the puppies, feeding them with babies bottles. It’s really nice, but i am worried that i will get more attached to them because of this.

I was feeding one of the pups and i was failing miserably. She wouldn’t grab on to the teat properly and the milk was going everywhere. I said it her, “You’re getting it all around your mouth, but none in your mouth!” Which was swiftly followed by a “That’s what she said.” I amuse myself sometimes….


Also i went out with Jeremy last Thursday. Jeremy has been living in Laos for the last year or so. I used to work with him here and it was nice to see him. We went for lunch first and he treated me to a pizza, which i was secretly happy about because i haven’t exactly been busy in terms of teaching this month. Then we met up in the evening and he took me to a proper Thai bar, because his Thai is simply outstanding, especially compared to my mumbling nonsense! After that we went to the dodgy street in Chiang Mai where all the disease ridden bar girls hang out waiting to attack an innocent Lewis. After a few more drinks i thought it would be a good idea to play a few games of pool with my sprained wrist. Well done me!!!! The night ended with me talking to a bar girl who said she was 18 but i very much doubt she was. She could have been, but she looked like a very young 18. Me and Jeremy made our excuses and headed on home. Overall it was a good night. I hope it won’t be another year until i see him again but realistically i can’t see myself going to Laos, i don’t like it there. So most likely i will have to wait until he comes back. Until next time my friend, t’was fun!


A pic of the puppies the day before Suzy got sick and we had to feed them ourselves. As you can see they are growing up fast!

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