Born to win

So you had your little tantrum last week, you got it out of your system?

Before i say anything, listen to this song it’s a song called ‘Born to win’ by Papoose. I just want to pick out a few of the lyrics…..

My competition said i wasn’t ready to face him,

My teammates said “I think we need to replace him”

All the haters used to say “Boo we hate him!”

I wanna thank y’all for the inspiration.

And i couldn’t have said it better myself. Every day i see this book slowly coming together. All my other books are in the first draft stage but this one is nearly ready to be published. I’ve got the front cover done and it looks incredible. The editing is nearly done, just waiting on a few people to finish their parts of the book that they were willing to edit (I can’t complain though, it’s being done for free. That’s the great thing about being an English teacher in Asia; you are surrounded by intelligent people and these people end up becoming good friends). in terms of the book everyone has been extremely supportive, however i have spent a lot of my life – like i’m sure most people have – constantly having to overcome obstacles. People saying that i’ll never succeed, that i need to give up, everywhere i have worked i started from the bottom. Sometimes forced, sometimes by choice. Simply because I’ve always wanted to prove that i can do it. I enjoy being underestimated and when people look at me and smirk, or make some kind of comment that i’m shit at whatever i’m doing at that time, I use that to drive myself on. So for every person that shot me down and treated me like shit; Thank you. Thank you for inspiring me to do what I’ve done (and possibly will do in the future) and for those of you that didn’t, it didn’t go unnoticed.

And now here we are, my book is nearly ready for publishing, i need to write a biography and do a little bit of work on my amazon page that i have no idea what to do, but it’ll surely be completed soon enough. Soon i will have a novel that’s available to buy on Amazon. ME!?!?!? A small, skinny kid from Watford has somehow wrote a book. And not just any book; like a book about my experiences in life, an actual novel. Once it’s out there no one can take that away from me. Against all odds i somehow became an author before the age of 30. Now i need to hope that it’s actually any good. I’ve had people tell me it’s good, but the true test will be once it’s been out for a few months and people i have never met start reading it. Then i’ll know if i truly am good at what i do or if i’m living in a dreamworld where everyone is too scared to break my fragile confidence to tell me what they really think…..

Alright calm down sunshine! I’m guessing you haven’t got any teaching stories if you are ranting like this….

Oh no i’ve got some! I was teaching a girl who shall be referred to as ‘Little lady’. I was teaching her how to expand on basic questions like ‘What is your name?’ for when they have to take these international exams. for example: What your name means, if you were named after anybody, if you like your name, etc…. and…. well, you know how it goes by now.

Unfortunately yes i do…..

Me: So lets give it a go; What is your name?

Little lady: My name is ________ which means red pork

Me: Great! it means red pork in…?

Little lady: <Blank stare>

Me: In what language?

Little lady: English

Me: No, it can’t be English, in which language?

Little lady: …English (more insistently)

Me: No it can’t be English, because ‘red pork’ in English is ‘red pork’

Little lady: <The stare becomes blanker…. and not the cool Blanka from Brazil that can electrocute people by tapping ‘B’>

Me: So which language is it? Korean…..? Or Japanese..?

Little lady: …..Every language.

Me: It cannot mean the same thing in every language. Especially since your name does not mean red pork in English, because red pork means red pork.

Little lady: <Yet another blank stare…>

Me: <looking for way out.> Is it in Thai? (knowing that whether it was or not, she would still say yes, and she would also say yes if she didn’t understand)

Little lady: Yes (well actually, it was more of a nod to say if i agree to whatever you are saying can we move on?)

Me: Lovely Jubbly! lets carry on…..

Its getting to the stage that i know as it’s happening that it’s going to end up on my blog. So now i find it difficult to either keep a straight face or to act completely normal. Probably if i did act normal they would say even better stuff.

Lovely! So you mention the book you are publishing, how about this new book you are writing?

I’m about 10000 words in. Enough for it to be considered a ‘part 1’ and shipped off to friends and family to see what they think so far. If it doesn’t flow then i can either start it again or scrap this one and start a new one. I’ve got a few ideas ready so i’m not afraid to scrap one if it’s not as good as i thought it would be. That being said i’m enjoying writing this one so i hope it’s good. I’ve given the main character some emotional issues to add depth to his personality, which i always enjoy exploring. This one specifically is interesting because he is an interesting, funny guy on the surface but when he’s alone he has severe self worth issues that usually only go away after half a bottle of whisky. Like i said it’s very interesting to write, i just hope it’s just as interesting to read…..

What else are you going to bore us with?

I did some leafleting this weekend for work which was really fun. I spent the whole time high fiveing people saying “Free coffee!” Referring to the coupon they got for a free drink if they came to the coffee shop. My bosses have been ridiculously nice. So much so that i’m wondering what i have possibly done to deserve it! They’ve treated me to dinner on more that a couple of occasions in the last 2 weeks. And i’m talking nice places too, not just your basic street stall restaurant. Their belief in me is so comforting. They speak very highly about the way i do my job which is always nice to hear. Their confidence in me is contagious and gives me more confidence in the classroom. I’ve never needed motivation for anything but i have always needed some self confidence. So i’m very thankful for that. I know it’s either a cliche or something that a suck up would say but i’m genuinely so lucky to have bosses like them. People who are good at what they do AND see potential in me as well. That’s me done for this week. I want to have had this book ready to publish by next week. I think i just need to get my arse in gear and attack it and stop being such a pussy about it. Anyway, CIAO!



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