Military coup, week 2

This is still going on?

Yep, no sign of stopping yet. Like i said last time the curfew has been extended to midnight. But the only thing that’s really different is that all around the town there are random army guys with machine guns just standing there.

Sounds scary!

No it’s nothing. Of course if anyone asks i’ll tell them how brave i am to withstand this dangerous time. But in all honesty it’s business as usual. In fact I’ve heard that the curfew has been lifted in places like Pattaya and Phuket. You know, the party towns. But i’m not 100% sure if that is true or not. Unfortunately I’ve been ill for the last few days so I’ve just stayed in feeling sorry for myself.

Aw diddums! Well you better have a good teaching story for me, you didn’t have one last week!

Last Sunday I was teaching some terrible girl. I was teaching her the time and she was really struggling to get it. When we got to 25 to 3 she had said 35 past 2 and two thirty five, so now i was trying to get her to say the last one. I got ’25 to’ out of her by waving my arms like an Italian on the board trying to give her the answer without actually telling her. I said…..

Me: 25 to…..?

Admittedly cute, but shit: 25 to

Me: 25 to what?

Admittedly cute, but shit: OH! 25 to what <starts to write it down>

Me: No don’t just repeat exactly what i say, i’m asking you 25 to what?

So of course i started singing ’25 to what?’ to the tune of Lil Jon’s ‘Turn down for what? including humming the tune. She was giggling when i was humming the high pitched notes, seemingly unaware as to why. Then i asked her what ’20 to 3′ was and she started to spit a rap freestyle in Thai. So i said “OK” and wrote ‘Random Thai’ on the board as a joke. She nodded and copied it down. I thought to myself “You know what? i’m just gonna see how this plays out!” And sure enough when we did an exercise and i’d asked her to write down the time for 7:40 she wrote down ‘Random Thai’


Yep, what a penishead. I thought “Actually, i don’t even want to correct you, lets just leave it out there and see what happens…”

I don’t think your students are shit, i just think you are a shit teacher….

Well i am a shit teacher as well. Although one of my students (The French girl) got her TOEIC score last Thursday; 730 out of 990. Just to put that into perspective most non-native English teachers are proud of having a score of 650. She said she wanted 700 and got more than that so i’m very happy for her. In fact i think i was happier than she was! I was also a man of my word, i said that i would treat her to some ice cream if she passed, like i say to all my students.

That’s nice, good for her! So what else have you been doing?

Last Monday i went to an internet marketing seminar. I didn’t write about it last week because i had already written so much last week. Anyway, i got there thinking that it would be good for me. I get to meet like minded people, i can learn about how to publish my book and how to market it. Fan dabby dosey!!!!! So i got there and i felt very uncomfortable. Some Thai woman came up to me and barked “YOU PAY YET?” “Err… no” was my shocked response. “OK, YOU PAY HERE. 250 BAHT!” I didn’t batter an eyelid, i assumed she didn’t mean to come across rude and gave her the money. I asked her if water was included and she said no, i must pay extra. So i paid an extra 25 baht (50p) for a bottle of water only to find free water in the room when i got in. “Great! I’ve been here 1 minute and I’ve already been lied to!” I thought to myself. I got some food and sat down at a table full of people talking confidently about about things i had no clue about. “I don’t fit in here.” I thought. Eventually one of the girls sitting next to me tried to start a conversation with me. I was nervous and uncomfortable because of the situation only to find that this girl was gorgeous “Great! Keep it simple and don’t say anything stupid.” I remember thinking. Labouring through an awkward conversation i asked her what she did. “Adoption” was her answer. “Oh adoption, that’s cool…” i said. “no; DROP SHIPPING!” she replied. Well done Lewis, you are very good at this ‘talking to girls’ lark aren’t you?

Oopsy! Was she pissed?

No she laughed it off, and after that i started to relax. It wasn’t really a seminar, more of a get together. Luckily i was picking the brains of everybody there so i learnt a lot. Met some really nice people there as well. Including the ‘adoption’ girl…. There was also a guy there who had published a book and had enough confidence about him to suggest he had been quite successful. He was very genuine and gave me some invaluable advice. At one point when there was a table full of people he walked over to our table, nodded at me and said “This guy’s writing a novel.” and walked away making me the centre of attention for the next minute or so. I thought “What a nice guy!” So overall i didn’t enjoy it at first. I felt out of my element and unable to connect with these people but the longer i was there the more i started to be myself and everybody opened up.

So it was a good night. Hows the medal table looking?

1. <>        Thailand

2. <>       United Kingdom

3. <>       United States

4. <>       Germany

5. <>       South Korea

6. <>       New Zealand

7. <>       Russia

8. <>       Laos

9.  new   Australia

10. -1      Canada

India, Malaysia and The Philippines have got their first medals. Also i got my first view from Africa last week, Kenya to be exact. So hello to you! Most of the top 10 hasn’t changed except Brazil has dropped out and Australia has surged into 9th position with Laos in it’s sights for 8th position. As of 3 weeks ago i hadn’t even got one view from Australia, now look at them. Even Kanye West got involved. This is what he had to say about it:

“Australia, i’m happy for you…. Imma let you finish…. but Thailand has got the most views of all time. OF ALL TIME!!!!”

Cheers Kanye, enjoy the rest of your honeymoon! Any progress publishing your book?

Kind of. I always take a few days off after i finish a book and this one was no different. I edited the book, added a little bit here and there and sent it out to a few friends of mine to edit a few pages each. When i first started editing it i got to 5 pages (A4 pages) and decided to have a break. Then my worst fears were confirmed. Now i understood why most people took so long to finish it. I thought the exact same thing; “This is good, but i’ll carry on tomorrow.” And of course tomorrow never comes. However after that it flowed easily and i effortlessly finish editing it. I feel like i may have to change the start to make it flow like the rest of it but deep down i don’t know how i’m going to do that. I don’t want to interrupt the flow. I think i’ll wait for the editing from my friends before i make any rash decisions.

I’m done! See you next week if i can think of anything remotely interesting to say…


One thought on “Military coup, week 2

  1. Pingback: Military coup, week…..3? Is this still going on? I just don’t know anymore….. | sirlewisofclarke

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