Geography Test

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This is the (admittedly quite scheisse) map i drew when the conversation drifted about Scotland. I thought it would be a cracking idea to explain to The Asian Lauren Whale (registered trademark) about these countries. Here is the car crash……

Me: Right so this is the map of England <pointing at England> (“Shit!” I thought, “I’ve just given her the answer, well done Lewis!”) and the other countries around it. 1st of all, what do you think number one is?

The Asian Lauren Whale: Australia

Me: OK, i just literally gave you the answer 10 seconds ago, but lets move on…. What about number 2?

The Asian Lauren Whale: Italy

Me: OK, i’m just gonna leave that out there….. Number 3?

The Asian Lauren Whale: Iceland

Me: I suppose we are getting closer…..kind of… That one’s Scotland.  How about number 4?

The Asian Lauren Whale: The Netherlands

Me: well, they both start with the letter ‘N’ i guess. Northern Ireland.  And what do you think number 5 is?

The Asian Lauren Whale: <still as confident as ever> Spain

Me: Great! What do you think 1, 2 and 3 is called?

The Asian Lauren Whale: Europe

Me: I kind of want to give you a point there. What about 1, 2, 3 and 4?

The Asian Lauren Whale: Errrr… I don’t know

Me: That one’s the United Kingdom. and finally what is 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5?

The Asian Lauren Whale: Iceland

Me: We have a saying on the Jeremy Kyle show, do you know what it is….? Yep, a full house, you failed every question. I refer back to last weeks quote and say “good job you’re pretty……”

Whoa, 1st of all, who gave you permission to speak 1st? I ask the questions, you answer them. That’s the rule!  Second of all, don’t you think you are being too hard on the poor girl? Stop being so cynical!

Well she is pretty shit…..That’s a lie. She’s good when she listens, but she doesn’t listen and it’s so frustrating. I went on a rant at her last week about her constant insistence on saying one word answers that don’t even apply to the question because she wasn’t listening, was guessing what i’d said and answering as vague as possible to cover all bases. During the rant (which wasn’t aggressive, don’t worry…) i said to her “the reason i get frustrated with you is because you don’t listen. There’s nothing i would want more than for you to be able to study in America or Australia or wherever you want to go, but you have to try. This isn’t an exam you can just half-arse and get the grade you want, This is a very difficult exam and you have to work for it. I can get you to pass but you have to put the effort in.” and i realized something; That’s my problem when teaching here, i care too much. In an environment where the majority of people i taught 2 years ago couldn’t care less and drained my enthusiasm for the job. I still care, but i get annoyed when people turn up to a class completely oblivious to what’s going on around them and say “I need to pass my IELTS exam next month.” Great, you can barely say your own name, but this is why i get paid what i get paid……

So….. What are you getting at?

Well I’ve rediscovered my enthusiasm for the job again which is always a good thing. I’m enjoying my classes which i haven’t done in a long time. Sure, i enjoy the fun classes, but i wasn’t fighting through the brutal ones like i used to, instead of trying as hard as i could to try and get them interested  i would look at them as if to say “You know you’re going on Facebook/the blog after that monstrosity of a comment don’t you?”

Okaley Dokaley, we’ll see how long that lasts….. Have you finished the book yet?

No not yet, i’m churning it out though. I’ve written about 8000 words this week!

Tell me what’s happened in 100 words or less….

So they landed in Malaysia, then flew to Cambodia a few days later. She starts to get annoyed at every little thing that he does and it starts to build up and up until she finally explodes. I’m not gonna say what happens exactly (you have to read it) but they go their separate ways and she heads off to Bangkok and then Chiang Mai, where she is at the moment. Obviously a lot has happened in the middle of that but if i tell you then you won’t want to buy it….

Can’t you just give me a snippet?

No, not yet, but i can say that her mental health is starting to deteriorate now so she’s a lot more angry and psychotic. I’m getting into the book a lot more now (which is worrying considering how disturbed I’m making her…) I’ve also started to make her say angry and bitter put downs to people who mildly upset her which i thought would be quite cool to add. It’s definitely added more shocking action and drama. Which i think was needed heading towards the end of the book.

So you’re nearly done? Yeah yeah… That’s what you say every week…. So is that it?

Almost. I became friends with this author a while ago and he saw that i have just started to become a writer. He asked me if i would want to try and write a dog bio. He supplied me with all the info about the Australian cattle dog then i wrote the first draft, turns out that much of what i wrote made it into the final draft! Here is the link if you want to have a look. I enjoyed getting a bit more practice writing and a real writer having belief in me is a real confidence boost. Siamo finito for this week i’m afraid, c’e Vediamo next Wednesday!!!

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2 thoughts on “Geography Test

  1. We’re one in the same right now…I’ve begun enjoying myself a lot more again, which is nice. I’ve just stopped trying so hard with them, and when they start to annoy me, I start making up stories to try and convince them 😉

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