Hi Ian!!!

Ian? Who the f*** is Ian?

Apparently it’s me. My friend from Germany came to visit for Songkran and for the first few nights he stayed in a hostel. As you do in hostels you meet a load of random people and generally just drink a lot. After a few drinks everyone kept calling me Ian as they were convinced that was my name. I kept correcting them but after a few hours i gave up.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened either! When i was living in Italy for the first couple of months i was working on the scaffolding with Italians and Albanians who didn’t speak English and for some reason they thought my name was Will. Same thing, i kept telling them my name was Lewis but after a week or so i ended up responding every time they called me Will because it was easier.

OK Ian/Will. You said your mate was visiting for what?

Songkran. It’s a Thai festival celebrating their new year. Long story short its basically a 3 day water fight. We spent the last few days getting very wet and a tad drunk, You go out with a bucket or a water gun for a few hours and just have fun! I would recommend everyone to experience this holiday at least once in their life as it is a truly amazing experience.

I see….. Any teaching stories?

As a matter of fact i do. I was doing an English related snakes and ladders game to a nineteen year old girl and whatever she landed on she had to do something English related. At one point she landed on ‘Say 6 countries and their nationalities’ and she got to England and said……

Oh god, you’re not gonna do another long dialogue are you…?

Yep….

 

Exhibit A: British

Me: Nope

Exhibit A: No?

Me: Yes, people from BRITAIN are British, but what about people from England? (I know, i was being picky)

Exhibit A: British

Me: Wasn’t British 10 seconds ago and is still not British now…..

Exhibit A: <SILENCE ENSUES…….>

Me: I am from England, I am…..?

Exhibit A: <please read above Exhibit A comment…..>

Me: OK, let’s try this a different way, What language are we speaking right now?

Exhibit A: English

Me: So a person from England is……

Exhibit A: English language

Me: I am from England, I am English language?

Exhibit A: No

Me: So i am from England, I am…?

Exhibit A: …British

Kill yourself, and your immediate family…….

Well done that girl! Hows the writing?

Been putting in more filler to give depth to the story. At one point they (the killer and her partner) were both having an affair with a blonde woman and i wanted to give her more depth. So in 1 extract of the diary i got the main character to sit down with her and talk about why she sleeps with anything that moves even though she’s married. Naturally shes pretty defensive and angry at first, but then she breaks down and says that she just craves love and affection that she has never got before. I don’t know where i’m going to take this yet, but it’s a good sub-plot i can run with if i want to.

Great, but any ACTUAL progress?

Yes, i killed off one of the characters. There’s a local (bar local) called Bill who is a retired police officer (so naturally he is referred to as ‘Old Bill’). He starts dropping subtle hints that he knows her true identity so she feels that she has to eliminate him before he blurts out who she really is.

So what does she do?

They’re in the pub by themselves and……actually, i’m not gonna say. I’ll let you read it. I needed help to come up with the idea of what exactly to do and not copy something else that is already out there (I had a great idea about him choking on his own vomit in the pub toilets because he was drunk for his birthday and Alex (the girl) walks in the toilets seeing him choking but refuses to help and watches him die. But of course that is a carbon copy of a relatively unknown TV show called Breaking Bad) so i have to give thanks to my friends Michael (The German guy) & Kaycee for helping me complete this scene. As always there will be a character named after you two somewhere down the line. I’ve already got a new barmaid called Jen in this book!

Anything else?

That’s it really. I’d like to have written more than i have (i swear i say this every week!) But i have spent the majority of the time drunk and/or playing fifa with my German friend. I’m not saying it’s COMPLETELY your fault Michael, but i’m going to blame you anyway…..

Image

* Picture of me and Michael in Koh Phangan, Thailand, 4 years ago at the full moon party. And i’m sure you can tell by the picture we were extremely drunk here as well……

 

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